This is a partisan season, and will only become more so. I must
therefore beg your indulgence while I defend the following
assertion: Several recent developments suggest that significant
further progress toward marriage equality in America will require
that it be approached as a bipartisan issue.
To be sure, more Democrats than Republicans support civil
unions, and more Democrats opposed the Federal Marriage Amendment
that Republicans used in 2004 and 2006, along with anti-gay state
ballot initiatives, to mobilize social conservatives.
Encouragingly, there are signs that the Republicans went to that
well once too often. But Democrats already held the progressive
congressional districts before 2006. To win control, Democratic
Congressional Campaign Committee Chair Rep. Rahm Emanuel
(D-Illinois) had to recruit more conservative candidates to match
more conservative electorates. His success, consequently, did not
change the fact that most American politicians oppose civil
marriage equality.
In short, advocates of marriage equality have already picked the
low-hanging fruit. Like Rep. Emanuel, we have to win over more
moderate and conservative voters to gain the margin of victory. But
how? As Providence would have it, a Republican stepped forward last
week to show us the way.
By now you have surely seen the video from San
Diego. On Sept. 19, Republican Mayor Jerry Sanders, a former
police chief who is up for re-election in 2008, announced a change
of mind. With his wife Rana standing beside him, and struggling
with emotion, he said that he would sign a city council resolution
petitioning the California Supreme Court to allow marriage
equality. He revealed that his daughter Lisa and members of his
personal staff were gay.
"The arrival of the resolution - to sign or veto - in my office
late last night forced me to reflect and search my soul for the
right thing to do. I have decided to lead with my heart ... to do
what I think is right, and to take a stand on behalf of equality
and social justice. The right thing for me to do is sign this
resolution." He continued, "I just could not bring myself to tell
an entire group of people in our community they were less
important, less worthy or less deserving of the rights and
responsibilities of marriage, than anyone else, simply because of
their sexual orientation."
Sanders made it clear that his basic values have not changed. "A
decision to veto this resolution would have been inconsistent with
the values I have embraced over the past 30 years." He then offered
a simple yet crucial insight: "I do believe that times have
changed. And with changing time, and new life experiences, come
different opinions. I think that's natural, and certainly it is
true in my case."
When a public figure conspicuously switches positions on a
controversial issue and prevails, others may be emboldened to take
the same step. Many such conversions are needed if civil marriage
equality is to carry the day across the country.
Don't get me wrong. If the choice in a given race, at least on
gay issues, is between a flawed Democrat and a worse Republican,
then the choice in favor of the Democrat is relatively easy. But
the whole point is that we are not talking about voters who already
embrace gay-affirming positions. Members of Congress generally
reflect the views of their constituents, and we are not likely to
make much more headway until we change conservative hearts. Even
assuming a Democratic sweep in 2008, there will still be many
Republican legislators at the state and national levels, and it ill
behooves us to write off all their supporters. Between elections,
even a fierce partisan like my own congresswoman, Eleanor Holmes
Norton (D-DC), reaches across the aisle on issues such as voting
representation for D.C. in Congress.
As for those officeholders who say yes to civil unions but no to
marriage, it will take more than rhetoric to change them. This is
where our dollars, letters, and volunteer efforts come in.
We have our work cut out for us. Time and again, otherwise
gay-friendly officials shy away from supporting marriage equality.
In California, Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger again
threatens a veto. In Maryland, Democratic Governor Martin O'Malley
backs away from his earlier support. These officials need to hear
from us and they need to pay a price for their political cowardice.
This requires us to re-examine our own calculations and ask
ourselves whether it is truly in our interest to give money to
someone just because he is a Democrat when he endorses an anti-gay
ballot initiative as former Rep. Harold Ford (D-Tennessee) did last
year during his U.S. Senate race. Make that his failed Senate
race.
The social context is ever changing. On Sun., Sept. 23, near the
end of NBC's Chris Matthews Show, the host congratulated
panelist Norah O'Donnell on the birth of her new babies, then
turned to Andrew Sullivan and congratulated him on his recent
wedding. Matthews mentioned Andrew's husband Aaron, and showed a
photo of the happy couple.
It was a simple, gracious and profound moment. We need many
more. To translate them into electoral victory, we have to do more
of what has worked in Massachusetts: more conversations, more phone
calls, more targeted contributions, more voter mobilization.
Until they succeed in changing the prevailing wisdom, leaders
like Jerry Sanders will be few. Let's be sure to thank and reward
them, whatever their party affiliation.