IGF CultureWatch

Though it may sound perverse, I get excited whenever religious fundamentalists speak up during the Q&A portion of my public events. While fundamentalists are hardly a dying breed, they seldom participate in such functions. And though I find their silence generally pleasing, it does rob me of what we college professors like to call "teaching moments."

So it piqued my interest when, at a debate in St. Louis last week, an audience member concluded an anti-gay tirade with, "Haven't you ever heard of the Sodom and Gomorrah story?!"

You see, I had actually read the Sodom and Gomorrah story the evening before-out loud, to a Detroit audience. If you've never actually read the story, find a Bible and read Genesis 19 (it's near the beginning). You may be in for a surprise.

A quick summary: two angels come to Sodom and Gomorrah, and Abraham's nephew Lot invites them into his home. An angry mob surrounds the door and demands, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, so that we may know them." Lot protests, offering them his virgin daughters instead. (Yes, you read that right.) But the mob keeps pressing for the visiting angels, who suddenly strike them blind. The angels then lead Lot and his family to safety, and the Lord rains fire and brimstone on the cities.

Most scholars take the mob's demand to "know" the visitors in a sexual (i.e. "biblical") sense. Assuming they're right, this oft-cited story is about an attempted gang rape. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that gang rape is BAD. But what does that have to do with homosexuality?

At this point fundamentalists will point to the fact that the mob declined Lot's offer of his daughters, instead demanding the (male) visitors. "Aha," they say. "This proves that the story is about homosexuality!"

I always find this response surprising, since Lot's offer of his daughters is an embarrassing detail of the text-for fundamentalists. Lot is supposed to be the hero of the story, renowned for his virtue. When faced with a mob of angry rapists, what does he do? Why, he does what any upstanding man would do. He offers them his virgin daughters. If you ever want an example of the Bible portraying women as expendable property, you need look no further than the Sodom and Gomorrah story.

Some biblical scholars have suggested that the true sin of Sodom is inhospitality. Inhospitality? Failing to offer visitors a drink, after they've traveled a long way to see you, is inhospitality. Trying to gang rape them is quite another matter. (And let's not forget about offering them your daughters, which apparently is biblical good form.)

Lest you think Lot's offer is a quirk, a strikingly similar story occurs at Judges 19. In this story, an angry mob demands to "know" visitors, and the host offers both his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine. As in the Sodom story, the mob declines the women and keeps pressing for the visitor. This time, however, the guest tosses his concubine outside and closes the door. (Again, he's supposed to be one of the good guys.) The mob violently rapes her until morning, when she finally collapses dead.

The lessons to be drawn here are several. First, most people who cite the Bible against homosexuality have little idea of what it says. Either that, or they have a rather strange moral sense. A story where the good guys offer their daughters to rapists is supposed to teach us what, exactly?

Second, the Bible contains some pretty wacky stuff. This isn't news to those who study it carefully, but it does surprise the casual reader. For example, later in Genesis 19 Lot's daughters get him drunk, have sex with him, and bear his children/grandchildren, without eliciting the slightest objection from the brimstone-wielding God.

After I explained all of this to my questioner in St. Louis, my debate opponent (Glenn Stanton of Focus on the Family) interjected that the Bible contains more salient references to homosexuality than the Sodom story. This is undoubtedly true, but it misses the point. The point is that the Bible reflects the moral prejudices and limitations of those who wrote and assembled it. Genesis 19 makes that abundantly clear (as do passages regarding slavery, and numerous others).

Once you grant that point, you can't settle moral claims merely by insisting that "the Bible says so." The Bible says lots of things-some true, some false, and some downright bizarre.

So when fundamentalists quote the Bible at my events, I don't try to silence them. On the contrary, I ask them to continue reading.

Since I wrote an earlier column about the persecution of gays in many foreign countries, there have been several more news stories about the plight of gays abroad-in Eastern Europe, in Africa, in portions of Latin America, but particularly in the Muslim theocracies of the Middle East-Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, etc.

Amazingly, these stories have been accompanied by stories about the refusal of several more civilized nations to grant asylum to gay refugees from those countries because officials refuse to acknowledge that gays are persecuted in other countries. In other words, on no justifiable grounds at all.

Item: "Death squads" of religious militants hunt down men believed to be gays in Iraq and Iran and kill them, first torturing them to force them to reveal the names of other gay men they know.

Item: Just six months ago, speaking at Columbia University, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denied that there are homosexuals in Iran. The translation of his remarks was questioned, but no alternate version was ever issued, suggesting that the initial version was substantially correct.

But Dr. Janet Afary argues in a forthcoming book on homosexuality in Iran that Iran has a long history of quietly accepted gay relationships well documented in European and Persian sources. However, she says, the current Iranian government has been actively pursuing, entrapping, and prosecuting gays on grounds such as rape and sex with underage partners, offenses they think will generate greater support.

Several instances have surfaced in recent months of young gay men who were murdered by the government on grounds of rape and underage sex that local gays said were completely without merit but were trumped up to sell the legitimacy of the executions in the West.

Item: Information has come out of Iran that gay men are being offered the option-if they wish to continue having sex with men-of transsexual surgery: having their male genitals removed, being given female hormones, and having other surgery to make them resemble women. Some gay men, feeling that they have no choice, are apparently taking the government up on this offer. Iran is reported to have one of the highest rates of transsexual surgery in the world.

Item: I recently quoted in this column one of my correspondents who said that his taxi driver commented, "In my country they kill gays." Alas, my correspondent did not ask what country that was, but it could have been any one of several in Africa or the Middle East.

Item: 19-year-old gay Iranian Mehdi Kazemi, studying in England, applied for asylum after he learned that his former lover had been tortured and executed in Iran, naming Kazemi as his partner. Denied asylum by British authorities, he fled to several other countries, ending in the Netherlands, which deported him back to England.

After significant protests including demonstrations in London, protests by left wing and gay activist groups in Italy and Britain, a supportive resolution by the European Parliament and dozens of members of the British House of Lords, the British foreign office agreed to review its earlier decision to refuse asylum. Its decision is said to be pending.

As prominent British gay activist Peter Tatchell pointed out during the Kazemi protests, "Gay men in Iran are hanged from public cranes using the barbaric method of slow strangulation, which is deliberately designed to cause maximum suffering."

What can we here in the U.S. do to help change the situation? I suppose the most important thing is to become as informed as possible. Much of the information I have presented here I have learned not through the mainstream U.S. press but through the press releases of Peter Tatchell of the British activist group OutRage, the valuable reporting of Doug Ireland in New York's weekly Gay City News, and the "Euroqueer" and recently-formed "Gays Without Borders" Internet listservs, which anyone can join.

My view is that people who understand the situation will think of things they can do to help, whether it is finding ways to pressure foreign governments or even the U.S.'s own State Department and Immigration and Naturalization Service which seems just short of homophobic.

The action might be writing letters to appropriate government figures or protests outside foreign embassies and legations. Gays and lesbians who are politically active can bring the issue to the attention of their favorite official or candidate. Letters to newspapers always have value. The more noise we can make on these issues, the better.

On March 11, the State Department released its Country Reports on Human Rights Practices for 2007. A compilation of the LGBT- and HIV/AIDS-related portions is available at glaa.org. An LGBT-only compilation, available at lgbtfpp.org, was released during a panel discussion in Washington on March 18 by the LGBT Foreign Policy Project, a coalition effort launched late in 2007 to encourage "a clearer and stronger American voice" on international gay rights concerns.

The March 18 discussion featured openly gay former Ambassadors James Hormel and Michael Guest; Scott Long of Human Rights Watch; and Korab Zuka, founder of the first gay rights group in Kosovo, who recently won asylum in the United States. The discussion emphasized the need to press the State Department to act on its findings. An official from State was present and cited a 2007 directive from Secretary Rice for embassies to support human rights more actively, but this was contradicted by Rice's recent waiver of human rights concerns to permit the release of military aid to Egypt.

Long noted a wide variation in the completeness of the individual country reports, reflecting the different priority given to this work from embassy to embassy. For example, the report for South Africa is silent on the rape, torture, and murder of a Johannesburg lesbian couple on July 8. On the other hand, I found 189 countries with relevant entries in the reports for 2007, up from 142 for 2006 and 105 for 2005.

Let's review some highlights, both negative and positive.

In Egypt, the government used emergency courts intended for terrorism and national security cases to prosecute homosexuals and dissidents. The Iranian government closed a reformist daily newspaper for interviewing an alleged gay activist. In Iraq, several gay activists were arrested and tortured, and there were killings by Islamist death squads. In Saudi Arabia, numerous arrests were made at gay parties, weddings, and beauty contests. Dubai police interrogated several people on charges of cross-dressing, which was also criminalized in Kuwait.

Brazil's Bahia Gay Rights Group reported 116 anti-LGBT killings, and "confirmed that police continued to commit abuse and extortion directed against transvestite prostitutes." Neo-Nazi and skinhead gangs in Chile committed anti-gay violence. Five Honduran police officers were charged with torture and illegal detention of several gay activists. Jamaican anti-gay abuses included police harassment, arbitrary detention, mob attacks, stabbings, and targeted shootings.

Gay marchers in Bucharest, Budapest, Moscow and Zagreb were violently attacked. In Kosovo, activists were detained and harassed by police. In Serbia, pro-gay activists were accused of being anti-Serb. Lithuanian gay groups were denied parade permits. Governments in Honduras, El Salvador, and the Philippines delayed, denied, or obstructed registration of LGBT groups.

In India, authors Vikram Seth and Amartya Sen led a campaign to overturn the law criminalizing homosexuality. In Burma, "increasing numbers of children worked in the informal economy or in the street, where they were exposed to drugs, petty crime, risk of arrest, trafficking for sex and labor exploitation, and HIV/AIDS."

In Romania there was widespread discrimination against children with HIV/AIDS. Moscow officials accused foreign non-profits that fight HIV/AIDS of "encouraging pedophilia, prostitution, and drug use among teenagers." A person released from a Havana prison for HIV/AIDS patients reported poor prison conditions, erratic medical care, and irregular provision of antiviral drugs. Across Africa, from Burundi to Zimbabwe, millions of AIDS orphans lived on the streets. The Rwanda report includes this awful line: "Due to the genocide and deaths from HIV/AIDS, there were numerous households headed by children, some of whom resorted to prostitution to survive."

On the plus side, Gay pride events were held successfully in Lima, Taipei, Krakow, Warsaw, Riga (Latvia), Tallinn (Estonia), and Ljubljana (Slovenia). Sierra Leone passed a law prohibiting HIV/AIDS-based discrimination. Mozambique passed a law prohibiting anti-gay workplace discrimination. Dutch parliamentary hearings led to the reversal or delay of government plans to return gay refugees to Iran. The Polish minister of education sought unsuccessfully to bar the promotion of homosexuality in schools, and his party lost its seats in parliament. The Nepalese Supreme Court upheld the rights of sexual minorities. In Thailand, the military stopped labeling homosexuality as a mental disorder. In Taiwan, the Family Violence Prevention and Service Act was extended to same-sex couples.

In some of the harshest places one finds the bravest people. The honor roll of advocacy groups includes Sexual Minorities in Uganda; GenderDoc-M in Moldova; Nash Mir in Ukraine; the Center for Social Emancipation in Kosovo; the Lesbian-Gay Rainbow Association of Comayaguela in Honduras; J-FLAG in Jamaica; and Lambda Istanbul in Turkey.

Even in Mali, where a law against immoral association was used to deny recognition to a gay rights group, it's encouraging that there's a gay rights group in the first place. So now it can be said that there is gay activism from here to Timbuktu.

It seems as if a lot of the gay community attention and energy that would normally go to advancing gay equality is being siphoned off by the presidential race, primarily by the contest between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination.

From a gay advocacy standpoint it is not clear that there is a lot of difference between the positions of Obama and Clinton. They both have articulated relatively gay-supportive positions-except, of course, for gay marriage which is not yet a winner in the court of public opinion.

For most gay voters then, the decision to support one or the other is based mostly on other, non-gay issues or on the symbolic significance that attaches to the first serious presidential candidacy of a woman or a man of mixed-race ancestry.

What I would like to know, however, is how hard the candidate if elected would work, how much of their time and energy they would devote, how much of their post-electoral political clout they would use to move their gay campaign commitments into the reality of policy.

Anyone can state a position, but achieving it is another matter entirely. Legal equality for gay people, equal partnership rights at the federal level, equal right to serve openly in the military, adding sexual orientation to employment non-discrimination legislation-those will take considerable effort.

Will the candidate-if elected-lobby senators and representatives? Will he or she pressure the joint chiefs of staff to approve ending the military gay ban? (The President is their boss, after all.) Will he or she issue the necessary executive orders? Will he or she use the bully pulpit of the presidency to help increase public support for those initiatives? To be sure, moving public opinion is like turning around a battleship-it takes time and continuous pressure, but the time to start is as soon as possible.

After all, both employment non-discrimination and an end of the military gay ban already have substantial majority support. Similarly, there seems to be majority support now at least for same-sex civil unions and equal federal benefits for gay partners. How long must we wait for the majority support we have earned to be translated into legislation and public policy?

What I hope is that every committed Obama and Clinton supporter will not rest satisfied with merely supporting his or her candidate and assume that the candidate will act zealously on their behalf, but will actively let the candidate know that the supporter's money and campaigning energy is based to a significant degree on the candidate's gay positions. You cannot leave this to the professional activists: Their statements are taken for granted as being part of their job and discounted accordingly.

Demand to know what specific actions the candidate-if elected-will take to implement his or her promises on gay issues. Our issues are not important for most people and they will get shunted aside unless we make clear how important they are to us. If we do not do it, who will?

My worry is that once the nominee is determined and the general election campaign begins, the candidates will focus on issues of more general interest-the Iraq War, health care, education, the condition of the economy, and gay issues will be soft pedaled or ignored entirely. We are certainly not going to get much conspicuous support as the candidates of both parties, having presumably locked in their core constituencies, both try to appeal to the political center and not offend any potential voters.

And the related worry is that gay Democratic activists will be so eager to get rid of Republican dominance of the executive branch that they will hesitate to raise our issues in any conspicuous way for fear of antagonizing any centrist voters who might otherwise vote for the Democratic nominee. In other words, they will be pressured to be, and they will want to be, "good boys" and not make waves.

A word on McCain. Writing in the April 8 issue of The Advocate, James Kirchick makes a persuasive case that McCain is no George Bush. He opposed the Federal Marriage Amendment (though not similar state amendments) and he is no partisan of the religious right.

But what Kirchick leaves out is the effect of another conservative on appointments to federal judgeships and the Supreme Court, and the absence of any plan or strategy by McCain for bringing the enormously expensive and deadly Iraq War to a conclusion any time in the next two decades.

On Tuesday, unbeknownst to itself, the Supreme Court will hear arguments in a gay-rights case. To most people, admittedly, District of Columbia v. Heller is a gun-rights case. In fact, it's the most important gun-rights case in decades, one that may cast a shadow for decades to come. But to gay Americans, and other minorities often targeted with violence, Heller is about civil rights, not shooting clubs.

Nine years ago, one of the first columns I wrote in this space told the story of Tom G. Palmer. One night some years ago in San Jose, he found himself confronting a gang of toughs, as many as 20 of them, intent on gay-bashing him. Taunted as a "faggot," threatened with death, Palmer (and a friend) ran for their lives, only to find the gang in hot pursuit. So Palmer stopped, reached into his backpack, and produced a gun. The gang backed off.

If no gun? "There's no question in my mind," Palmer told me in 1999, "that my friend and I would have been at least very seriously beaten, and maybe killed."

Today Palmer lives in Washington, D.C., which has the most restrictive gun-control law in the country. You can't own a handgun in Washington unless it was registered before 1976 (or unless you are a retired D.C. police officer). You can own a shotgun or rifle, but it must be disassembled or locked (except while being used for lawful recreation or at a place of business; you can protect your store, in other words, but not your home). In Washington, therefore, Palmer could not legally protect himself with a gun, even if the gay-bashers had chased him right into his home.

Although gay life in America is safer today than it once was, anti-gay violence remains all too common. The FBI reports more than 7,000 anti-gay hate crimes in 2005 alone, and since 2003 at least 58 people have been murdered because of their sexual orientation. Perhaps because gay-bashings often begin in intimate settings, the home is the single most prevalent venue for anti-gay attacks. In public, of course, gay-bashers make sure that no cops are around. For that matter, sometimes the police are part of the problem, responding to gay-bashings with indifference, hostility, sometimes abuse.

Those facts are from an amicus brief that two gay groups -- Pink Pistols and Gays and Lesbians for Individual Liberty -- have filed in Heller. Pink Pistols is a shooting group, formed partly in reaction to stories like Palmer's (and partly, full disclosure, in reaction to an article I wrote urging gays to take up self-defense with guns).

"Recognition of an individual right to keep and bear arms," says the brief, "is literally a matter of life or death" for gay Americans. The Heller plaintiffs are asking the Supreme Court to strike down Washington's gun law as unconstitutional. One of those plaintiffs, not coincidentally, is an openly gay man: Tom Palmer.

At issue is the legal meaning and reach of the controversial Second Amendment, which says: "A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." Oddly, the Supreme Court has not definitively ruled on the amendment's meaning. The last important precedent came down a long time ago, in 1939, and it left the issue murky.

In most of the time since then, conventional wisdom assumed that the amendment confers no right on individuals, but instead empowers the states to form militias and other armed forces. In recent years, however, that interpretation has lost ground under academic scrutiny. It has become clearer that the Founders believed just what the amendment said: The people have a right to own firearms of the sort that would have been used in militia service in those days -- that is, pistols and long guns.

Why would the Founders have cared? One reason is as relevant today as ever: Guns were needed for self-defense, a prerogative the Founders regarded as fundamental to freedom. As John Locke wrote, "If any law of nature would seem to be established among all as sacred in the highest degree, ... surely this is self-preservation."

The second reason, by contrast, strikes modern Americans as archaic, if not embarrassing: States' armed populations could resist and overthrow a tyrannical central government, acting as an insurrectionary militia -- much as Americans had recently done in overthrowing British rule. That may have made sense in 1790, but today the insurrectionary rationale would seem to imply a right to keep and bear surface-to-air missiles and grenade launchers, among other things.

Between a right to keep and bear nothing and a right to keep and bear surface-to-air missiles lies a whole lot of middle ground. That the Supreme Court may finally provide some guidance is thus major constitutional news. But what should the Court do?

It could make the Second Amendment a dead letter by finding that it guarantees no individual right at all. This is what the District of Columbia wants. But judicially repealing the Second Amendment would be a mistake, both as a matter of constitutional literacy and also, more important, on moral grounds. The Declaration of Independence's great litany, "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," puts life first. A law that prevents people from defending their own lives, even in their own homes, denies the most basic of all human rights.

Instead, the Court could adopt the District's fallback position, which is that even if there is an individual right to gun ownership, the right is so weak that the District's gun law doesn't violate it. This would also be a mistake. If a near-total ban on handguns -- even for self-defense in the home, and bolstered by a prohibition on operable long guns -- does not violate the language and intent of the Second Amendment, then nothing possibly could.

What the plaintiffs in Heller want the Court to do is throw out the D.C. law as unconstitutional, without necessarily saying what other kind of law might pass muster. This keep-it-simple approach has a lot going for it. The Court would place an outer boundary on the argument over the Second Amendment, saying, in effect, "Right now we're presented with an easy case, so we'll make an easy call: The government can't indiscriminately ban guns in the home. What else the government may or may not be able to do we'll decide some other time, when those cases make their way to us."

But that approach would leave some ambiguity about the Second Amendment's reach, which is why the Bush administration is uncomfortable with it. The administration worries that flatly overturning the District's law could leave federal gun laws -- restrictions on machine guns, for instance -- vulnerable to challenge, so it is asking the Court to declare the Second Amendment a kind of intermediate right, one that individuals hold in principle but that the government could often override in practice.

That idea seems strange at best, mischievous at worst. It asks the Court to enshrine a new kind of constitutional right: a "sort of" right, which makes a libertarian gesture but won't get in Washington's way. Think of it as Big Government constitutional conservatism. For the Bush administration, importing Big Government conservatism into the part of the Constitution designed to protect individuals from Big Government may be par for the course, but it would be a far cry from what the Founders had in mind for the Bill of Rights.

A fifth approach makes more sense: The Court would overturn the District's law and add an explanation. Without trying to lay out detailed standards, the Court would clear up confusion about the Second Amendment by unambiguously identifying the core right it protects as reasonable self-defense by competent, law-abiding adults.

Reasonable self-defense leaves room for firearms regulation. Exotic and highly destructive weapons could be restricted or banned, because no one needs a machine gun or grenade launcher for protection against ordinary crime. Felons, not being law-abiding adults, could still be barred from gun ownership.

Most of the government's gun laws, in fact, would have no trouble passing the self-defense test (as the Heartland Institute calls it in an amicus brief), because most gun laws are reasonable and don't leave people defenseless. As for the insurrectionary purpose of the Second Amendment, the Court could either repudiate it explicitly or pass over it in silence, consigning it to irrelevance.

The self-defense test is good policy, because it aligns the Second Amendment with modern needs and sensibilities. It is good law, because it rescues the amendment from being a dead letter or an embarrassment.

And it is morally sound, because it honors in law what gay people know in our hearts: Being forced into victimhood is the ultimate denial not only of safety but of dignity.

I tend to take taxicabs if it is bitterly cold, or late at night, or my destination is some distance away. And I will chat with the driver if he seems open to it-that is, not talking continuously on his cell phone.

One day I was chatting with the driver and he asked if I was married. I could have given the short answer and let it go, but I ventured, "I can't get married," I said. "Gays can't marry in Illinois. We can only get married in Massachusetts."

There was no pause at all. "What makes people gay?" the driver asked. It was as if it was a question he had wondered about before. "Is it genetic or do you choose it or what?" he continued.

Now, I have a kind of complicated phenomenological explanation, but there was no time to try to explain that, so I said, "No one knows for sure what makes some of us gay. Many of us would like to know that ourselves. Certainly none of us chooses to be gay. It is just something we discover about ourselves. But it seems to involve a combination of genetic and constitutional factors and individual personality development." It would have to do.

But this led into question from the driver about how I lived my life, how did I meet men, did I have a partner, do my friends know I'm gay, was I happy with the life, and so forth. The questions poured forth until we reached my destination.

Thinking about it later, I realized that I was engaging in a bit of impromptu gay activism. Here was a man who seemed genuinely interested, so it was worthwhile trying to answer his questions. I may have been the first openly gay person of whom he could ask these questions. I firmly believe that the most effective activism is individual, person-to-person encounters like this.

You can't plan these sudden opportunities, but you can prepare for them by deciding to give the information in passing that you are gay, and deciding to be totally honest. It also helps to have an idea about answers you might give to some of the obvious question. Like everything else, this requires a certain amount of tact and prudence-don't press information on people who seem hostile, etc. The idea is to make a connection and a favorable impression.

And you can look for opportunities to mention being gay. A driver once asked what I did for a living. I could have said, "I'm a writer," and left it at that. But I ventured ahead: "I write for the local gay newspaper." That led to a few questions about gays.

If the driver criticizes President Bush, regardless of your personal politics you can certainly say, "He sure doesn't seem to like gay people like me very much. He doesn't want us to be able to get married."

Nor need this tactic be limited to cabdrivers. Waiting in a group for a bus, one youth-girlfriend in hand-commented "Nice shirt." Since I was bigger than he was (a factor to consider with regard to safety), I answered, "Thanks. My lover-he gave it to me"-pointedly slipping in the gender identifier. "Oh, 'HE', huh?" the young man replied.

A friend summoned for standby jury duty told me he left blank the questions about marital status and said he was prepared to point out to the judge or questioning attorney that he found the question offensive because he was not allowed to get married. Good for him. Would that more people made an issue of the constant "heterosexual assumption."

But sometimes these conversations can take an odd turn. A correspondent wrote recently that when he mentioned gays to his cabdriver the driver replied, "In my country they kill gays." I'm not sure what the right response to that is. Do you say that's barbaric and uncivilized? Do you mention the great Western writers who were gay and wonder what literary losses his country sustained? Do you admit that gays used to be executed in the West until the 18th century, too? Do you say, Well, we are a democracy, not a theocracy run by religious fanatics? I don't know.

Once I hailed a cab as I was leaving the local bathhouse. "What kind of place is that?" the driver asked. "It's a gay bathhouse," I said, feeling my way cautiously. "What goes on in there?" "It's sort of a do-it-yourself bordello," I explained. "You rent a room, shuck off your clothes and walk around to see if you can find mutual interest with another person. If you do, you retire together to your room." "Can anyone go there?" he asked. "Well, it wouldn't be very interesting unless they were gay," I said. Then the driver wondered if I could take him there sometime. I declined and suggested he start with the bars instead.