IGF contributing author Walter Olson and his husband, Steve Pippin, authored a piece on the Huffington Post, “Our American ‘Modern Family’ Is Now Old Hat.” They conclude:
In Europe, many countries were much faster than the United States to enact gay marriage into law. Yet those same countries have been much slower and more reluctant to ratify parenthood by gays, and adoption—over there often administered by monolithic state agencies—remains off limits even in the Denmarks and Norways. Part of the difference, I think, is that while getting to marriage requires a change in law—and we in America tend to take our time on that—founding a family is seen as something that every American has the right to go out and do. And so by the time our “family policy” experts noticed that gays were becoming parents on purpose, it had already become a substantial social phenomenon, hundreds of thousands of families strong.
It’s a contradiction, and yet it’s not: The United States is seen as distinctively “conservative” among the world’s great nations, yet it’s also the world’s arch-incubator of innovative social change. Don’t wait around for permission; it’s not as if anyone’s stopping you! If it’s worth doing, go for it, and let the law catch up in its own time. It works, again and again. And it’s so American.
8 Comments for “Just Another Modern Family”
posted by Houndentenor on
My understanding is that Scandinavian countries did not allow single parent adoptions either. Marriage and adoption are two separate issues there, as they are here. One of the more flagrant displays of right wing ignorance over the last few years is the objection to same sex marriage because children should have a mother and father, ignoring that same sex couples have been raising children (adopted, born through surrogates or their own biological children) for decades already.
posted by Mario on
Houndentenor, isn’t the ignorance mostly stemming from the left wing that insists europe is a liberal bastion of peace and harmony? I’ve told my many left leaning gay friends over the years that european nations have strict adoption laws far behind the United States, and when it comes to the America’s liberal surrogate laws, not one nation in Europe comes even close. Even Elton John’s child had to be conceived in the “conservative” United States. De facto, Elton’s child is American. Furthermore, nations like France, although gays are allowed to openly serve in the armed services, are banned from positions of authority, such as general or sergeant. The gay left in the US likes to turn a blind eye to these injustices out of some strange cult-like reverence for the “promise land.” But as we are seeing with France’s anti-gay riots and widespread violence, the euro dream is mostly comprised of propaganda.
posted by Houndentenor on
We have an across the board problem in the US, not just a left or right one. We are almost completely ignorant of how anything works or what is happening in any country other than our own, and not that much of our own either. And I say this as someone with only minimal knowledge of other countries’ politics. I did learn a great deal by asking questions and listening when I lived in Germany. The most important thing I learned is not to assume that liberal and conservative mean the same thing when you cross a border. For example, in Germany it is the conservatives who are for funding for the performing arts. The liberals, and especially the greens, see it as a subsidy for elitist entertainment, which the conservatives see it as fulfilling a constitutional mandate to preserve and promote German art and culture both at home and abroad. That’s just one of probably dozens if not hundreds of examples of specific issues where the political coalitions are aligned quite differently. Neither party would get rid of national health insurance, for example. And both favor the practice of rather lengthy leaves for new parents (and rather generous funding for day care or to make it possible for new mothers to afford to stay at home with their children). Americans do a good job of claiming they are for families and children and a crappy job of providing the possibility for people to make the choices that might be in the best interest of those children. The Germans look a lot like us (more Americans have a German ancestor than any other country) but culturally they are quite different in ways that are not often obvious to tourists. I learned a great deal (and did my best to clear up misunderstandings they have about Americans as well since our movies and tv shows give them an incredibly distorted view about how we live since even median income families are almost never depicted in our media.)
posted by Jorge on
“Old hat” is right. That article was utterly mundane to these eyes.
In Europe, many countries were much faster than the United States to enact gay marriage into law. Yet those same countries have been much slower and more reluctant to ratify parenthood by gays, and adoption—over there often administered by monolithic state agencies—remains off limits even in the Denmarks and Norways.
I did not know that.
Now I know nothing about the constitutions of these other countries, but this reminds me of why Sandra Day O’Connor writes our Bill of Rights is so great: it’s brief, therefore it’s flexible and open to easy application to new realities. You look at some other constitutions’ listing of basic rights (Egypt’s new one especially but I am told Canada’s goes in the same direction) and they spell out everything under the sun, making exigencies and exceptions for every situation they can think of. You can see how some things fall throuh the cracks.
posted by TomJeffersonIII on
I do not think that Europe is a ‘utopia’ when it comes to LGBT-rights issues. However, it has generally been about a decade ahead of the United States in this area. Not always, but generally.
The European Union has — for its faults — helped in this regard because member nations have to agree to a minimum human rights standard or else lose their membership. They have not be afraid to nudge nations forward when gay rights are concerned.
Hence, the European anti-gay criminal laws were generally repealed or invalidated long before 2003. A minimum level of sexual orientation based equal opportunity/fairness has to be written into each nation’s labor code.
Is it perfect legal equality? Well no. If the European nations cannot get ‘consensus’ on what a ‘common’ policy should be, then it gets left up to each nation to sort out.
So, (at a minimum) each nation has to have sort of civil partnership rights (or are suppose to exist) for gay couples, but adoption/custody of children can still be complicated for gay couples.
Beyond, public policy I suspect that in Europe — much like anywhere else their are some places and people that are generally more accepting/tolerant of gay people (or indeed anyone that is somehow different) then others.
I know a French foreign exchange student studying in America who says that he gotten quite a bit of harassment for being black in France, but much less for his sexuality (beyond a politically incorrect joke) ….at least in the urban cities.
In America he says its is almost reverse. He does not experience much overt racism, but overt homophobia is — compared to Europe — still socially acceptable in America…at least in certain circles.
So, I suspect that in rural communities anywhere or where people are not quite as educated or where their are high levels of poverty and violence, gay people are among ‘the others’ that will be the object of scapegoating and scorn.
posted by Houndentenor on
It’s just another conservative Strawman that all liberals idolize everything European. I lived in Germany for awhile. I saw some things that I wish we had here. I saw a lot of things that I’m glad we don’t have. It’s a different culture that’s difficult to explain if you haven’t lived there. And each European country is different so I can’t take what I learned in Germany and apply it to Spain or Belgium. There is no perfect society or system. Everything has pluses and minuses. We should, however, be able to look to another country and find models that might work here without some people freaking out about it. Most of all I am sick to death of Strawman arguments about liberals that don’t represent the views of any liberal I’ve ever met.
posted by Lori Heine on
I know exactly what you mean. Gay conservative blogs are as bad about this as straight ones. They’re always claiming that “liberals” (meaning ALL liberals) think this or that, or are this way or that.
I wonder under what rock some of these people live. I disagree with liberals on the proper role of government, but most of my friends and relatives are liberals — and I love them. I don’t know very many of the monsters I commonly hear described, by conservatives, as liberals.
posted by Tom Scharbach on
A recent Pew Research report might be relevant. Cultures differ on the details of what “acceptance” means, but in general, more developed countries are ahead of the rest of the world.