Several backward states prohibit gay couples from adopting children. In one of these, Oklahoma, the legislature passed a bill prohibiting the state from acknowledging adoptions by same-sex couples from other jurisdictions-blocking parental rights post-adoption, reports the Los Angeles Times.
Here's what happened: A gay couple in Washington state adopted a child born to a mother who resides in Oklahoma, with the intention of allowing the birth mother to remain a part of the child's life. But since Oklahoma refuses to recognize the couple's legal paternity, they dare not travel to the Sooner State to visit the child's mother or allow their daughter to bond with her maternal grandfather and other birth relatives. Should the child get hurt and need hospitalization, for example, they would have no rights to make care decisions (or even to ride in the ambulance!)
Even if one misguidedly thought that barring gay couples from adopting somehow "protects" children, how does refusing to recognize parental rights post-adoption do anything but put children at risk?
Some good adoption news. A reasonable decision, from Virginia, of all places. Overlawyered.com has more.
[Note to readers: I will be out of town, and without Internet access, for most of the coming week. I encourage you to visit some of the blogs I find most valuable.]
15 Comments for “Adoption–It’s Not Okay in OK.”
posted by Greg Capaldini on
Like it or not, Steve’s last words, “put children at risk,” are precisely those that would be pounded by opponents of such adoptions. The Oklahoma legislation keeps adoptive same-sex couples at bay not based on legal principles but perceptions. A gay couple who adopted have told me that half the battle is shopping for a state that has not interfered in these matters and likely will not. The alternative is to eliminate the birth relatives from the child’s life, which is, indeed, sad.
posted by Northeast Libertarian on
Children are at a far greater risk in the hands of the state than in the care of loving parents.
posted by Regan DuCasse on
Once again I ask…when marriages and parents fail regularly without the states ability to prevent or keep people to those obligations,
how could it possibly be Constitutional and supported in the Bill of Rights to legally KEEP adults FROM doing the right thing by their significant others and children?
ONLY against gay people have states found that it’s in their interests to deny gay people this ability.
Single characteristic discimination will ultimately hurt instead of do good.
This isn’t a theory. Neither are good gay parents and couples.
And I’m damn tired of the courts and the anti gay factions behaving like it is.
posted by Craig2 on
Ah, but who said the *conservative Christian opponents* of same-sex parent adoption are neccessarily fit and proper parents?
Here’s a tip. Contact child welfare agencies and ask them for research related to religion and child battery.
posted by raj on
Craig2 | November 28, 2006, 4:18pm |
Do a google search for “Earl Butch Kimmerling.” You might be surprised what you find–but he’s only one example.
posted by Bill from FL on
Craig,
Something to remember though with Child Battery. Especially here in the south Corporal Punishment generally not seen as a bad thing. Not sure where they draw the line on child abuse though! (I know it’s a pretty debated subject in NZ these days though)
When it comes to the whole Florida Anti-Gay adoption law, and the “we can be foster parents but not adopt thing” here For the record, I have NO DESIRE to adopt kids or foster them. I feel that if hetero’s are so wonderful at child rearing and support this ban, they should be forced to adopt the kids while we are delegated to more interesting things like partying, politics, careers, and aesthetics. Because after all, being a ward of the state is MUCH better than a decent home with an alternative lifestyle. And for those who cannot or will not care for the kids they squirted out (probably on the taxpayer’s dime), they should have to do something to make up for it.
posted by raj on
I’m not entirely sure what the update regarding the VA court decision has to do with adoption, but the case is being discussed at Volokh.com here. The dispositive aspect of the case is that the VA lesbian (the one who has physical custody of the child) filed for dissolution of the civil union that she had entered into with the VT lesbian (the one who is seeking visitation rights with the child) in VT courts. That filing gave VT courts the power to determine all aspects of the dissolution of the CU, including visitation rights, as the VA court correctly determined.
If the VA lesbian had filed for dissolution in VA courts, the case might have been decided differently (indeed, the VT courts might not have gotten involved), but, on the other hand, the VA courts might have determined that it did not have jurisdiction to dissolve the VT CU because VA law doesn’t recognize a corresponding relationship.
posted by Bobby on
“while we are delegated to more interesting things like partying, politics, careers, and aesthetics.”
—I hope you were being sarcastic.
What’s so interesting about partying with a bunch of 40 and 50 year old queens dressing like they’re 21? Or 21 year olds thinking you’re an old troll at 31?
Career? Please, that’s fun if thet let you do what you want. But if they expect you to work 24/7 and treat you like they’re doing you a favor, it’s not fun at all.
Aesthetics don’t matter because everyone grows old and ugly, look at Elizabeth Taylor and tell me that I’m wrong. So unless you’re puking, injecting yourself with steroids, or taking crystal meth, you’re gonna lose your looks if you haven’t lost them already.
Politics is a waste of time since all political parties are full of shit and any significant change takes forever.
Face it, if you’re 31 and without kids, you’d better find a good reason not to kill yourself.
Merry Christmas.
posted by Craig2 on
Bill:
I agree with you about adoption as an ethical issue, and I’m not sure it’s in the best interests of the kid either. I know it is certainly traumatic too for many relinquishing
birthmothers. However, for the most part, we’re talking co-parent adoption here, not stranger adoption.
I support same-sex parental adoption responsibilities if it is a matter of continuity of care, best interests of the child,
and prospective same-sex and straight parents have to meet equivalent criteria for eligibility.
And not everyone will undertake the responsibility of adoption, for the same reason that other LGBTs prefer
childless lifestyles.
We must never forget, though, that parenting is a question of rights and responsibilities for parents and children both. In political discourse about same-sex parenting, it is always a good idea to stress the issue of
parental responsibility and maturity.
Craig2
Wellington, New Zealand
posted by Bill from FL on
Bobby:
while we are delegated to more interesting things like partying, politics, careers, and aesthetics.”
—I hope you were being sarcastic.
Somewhat, yes. Point being that if they heteros are go good at family life, let them have it and since we cannot especially here in FL I will not worry about putting kids thru college, “dad I’m drunk come get me” calls at 3am, blah blah blah. The cloud CAN have a silver lining-no mouths to feed! But my heart goes out to those who really want to be parents and cannot, and for those kids who suffer.
What’s so interesting about partying with a bunch of 40 and 50 year old queens dressing like they’re 21? Or 21 year olds thinking you’re an old troll at 31?
I could think of alot worse things as long as at 40 or 50 they don’t dress like they are 21 and act like 16 year old high school students in the cafeteria. Of course, I have never lived long (except 2 months in Atlanta) in a “gay ghetto” so the “gay bar culture” never got me. (But have always been very out anywhere I lived. )Also, I am 31 and have always made it a point to have older friends and an eclectic bunch at that. The generation gap annoys me.
Career? Please, that’s fun if thet let you do what you want. But if they expect you to work 24/7 and treat you like they’re doing you a favor, it’s not fun at all.
Who is THEY? I see your point though….but when you have no kids you have more choices. Work can be fun or stink no matter what you do. Even if it’s what you love.
Aesthetics don’t matter because everyone grows old and ugly, look at Elizabeth Taylor and tell me that I’m wrong. So unless you’re puking, injecting yourself with steroids, or taking crystal meth, you’re gonna lose your looks if you haven’t lost them already.
Exactly! No Aesthetics like decorating and the like…typical queeny stuff that even rightwing stepford nutjob wives can use us for.
Politics is a waste of time since all political parties are full of shit and any significant change takes forever.
That is somewhat true, but we still have the obligation to speak out…lest we forget those under Absolute Monarchs and Stalin had no chance to change! And things CAN change. Read: the last election! Change is supposed to be difficult or else we would have chaos!
Face it, if you’re 31 and without kids, you’d better find a good reason not to kill yourself.
Oh I have plenty. Starting with a family, partner, a decent job where i can be out, friends, a home, food, and 2 adorable dogs. Not to mention…knock on wood 1 2 and 10 of everything I need.
But, I can imagine it is tough on those who want different than I do….31 is not bad to start at but who wants teenagers at 57?
Merry Christmas.
Same!
posted by Bill from FL on
Bill:
I agree with you about adoption as an ethical issue, and I’m not sure it’s in the best interests of the kid either. I know it is certainly traumatic too for many relinquishing
Right. I just feel sad that people have kids and don’t care for them.
birthmothers. However, for the most part, we’re talking co-parent adoption here, not stranger adoption.
Understood on all accounts.
I support same-sex parental adoption responsibilities if it is a matter of continuity of care, best interests of the child, and prospective same-sex and straight parents have to meet equivalent criteria for eligibility.
Agreed. But they would get better food at my house! 🙂
And not everyone will undertake the responsibility of adoption, for the same reason that other LGBTs prefer childless lifestyles.
True, but remember….heteros usually want ones that are blood related and look like them. Gays are a different story also for biological reasons.
We must never forget, though, that parenting is a question of rights and responsibilities for parents and children both. In political discourse about same-sex parenting, it is always a good idea to stress the issue of parental responsibility and maturity.
Exactly! But the gay left is too PC to say “don’t breed ’em if you cannot feed them!”
Craig2
Delightful to see a NZ’er here!
Wellington, New Zealand
posted by Northeast Libertarian on
Regan, I suspect you’re onto something.
Oklahoma refusing to recognize the adoption decrees of another state probably is a violation of the full faith and credit clause of the Constitution. There’s no difference, in fact, between Oklahoma declaring that gays with out of state drivers’ licenses are considered without a license and gays with out of state adoption licenses are considered without a license. Under the constitution, OK *must* honor the certifications of other states in the union.
Of course, Democrats and Republicans never let that pesky Constitution — especially the Bill of Rights — get in the way of their schemes to save us all from ourselves.
posted by Bobby on
Hey Bill from FL, I’m glad you have a productive fun life.
I was feeling depressed yesterday, so I wrote a bunch of crap. Glad you took it with a grain of salt or something like that.
posted by Bill from FL on
Hi Bobby
Sorry if I seemed a bit insensitive or anything….and that you were feeling a little depressed the other day. I just wanted to make the point that we don’t need the stuff the heteros have to be happy. Productive life? I suppose. Happy? Not so sure.
Take care!
posted by Craig2 on
Incidentally, a damned good resource is Judith Stacey and Tim Biblarz’ “(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter?” American Sociological Review (April 2001):158-183. It’s a benchmark comparative study on same-sex parenting, and gets thrown around a lot when the issue is debated.
Craig2
Wellington, New Zealand