In the early 1980s when the Centers for Disease Control created the term "Men who have sex with men" (MSM) to refer to an AIDS risk group, many of us criticized the term as a euphemism for gay men. Now, however, a new survey of "MSM" in New York City shows some important differences between gay men and non-"gay" MSM. That suggests that we were wrong to reject the term entirely, but that the CDC was also wrong to lump us all together.
Our objection to "MSM" had a good deal of merit. It seemed like a social conservative attempt to deny that men could actually be constitutionally oriented toward love and sex with other men, instead treating our orientation as just a succession of sexual acts.
Even more, it rejected our self-affirming label "gay." After all, one of the first steps of the ex-gay process is to persuade gay men to stop thinking of themselves as "gay" or "homosexual"--i.e., to reject the identity.
Whatever the CDC's reasoning, it is certainly true that during the Reagan administration, when social conservatives began to wield a great deal of influence, any attempt by the CDC to talk about "gay men" or "gay and bisexual men" would have met vigorous criticism and objection.
However, over the years, "MSM" came to have a sort of plausibility. There are large numbers of men who have and may well prefer sex with other men, but who use a variety of rationalizations to evade acknowledgment of their homosexuality or bisexuality, and the CDC's MSM designation did manage to include them without seeming threatening.
How many? A 2003 telephone survey of more than 4,000 men conducted by the New York City public health department just published in the Annals of Internal Medicine found that MSM who deny being gay are more numerous than self-acknowledged gay or bisexual men.
According to Reuters, fully 10 percent of the men in the survey who identified themselves as "straight" said in the past year they had sex with one or more men but no woman. And that figure is undoubted low since telephone surveys traditionally encounter the greatest degree of cover-up of homosexual activity.
Since only 9 percent of the men acknowledged being gay or bisexual (or "unsure"), that means that more straight men are engaging in gay sex than gay and bisexual men are, although further questioning determined that they have fewer partners than the gay/bi men.
They use a variety of rationalizations to deny being gay. They may think "gay" designates a specific set of social behaviors or "lifestyle"--regularly going to clubs, taking drugs, attending parties, obsessing with fashion, etc. That most gays do few or none of these things is irrelevant if the "straight" men have accepted that stereotype.
Or they may think "gay" designates men who act publicly in a feminine (or effeminate) manner--a stereotype left over from the 1950s and still common enough among some males at lower educational levels. They may feel that if they act in a traditionally masculine fashion, they are not "gay."
They may believe that "gay" men are the ones who take the receptive or "insertee" role in sexual behavior. If they prefer the inserter role, then they don't think of themselves as gay. That many openly gay men also prefer the inserter role, and many others switch roles easily--thus being alternately gay and not gay--may not make sense to them. This view seems to be particularly common in third world countries.
Then too, some men make a radical distinction between their sexual and emotional desires and deny being gay if, while enjoying sex with men, their only emotional relationships are with women. Maybe they never allow their succession of sexual contacts to develop an emotional connection. But it would also apply to the significant number of men whose self-image and self-esteem largely depends on being loved and needed by a women.
Not surprisingly given these rationalizations, the "straight" men who had gay sex were more likely to belong to a racial or ethnic minority, to be born in a foreign country, and to have a lower educational level. They were also less likely to have used a condom during their most recent sexual activity with a man. But if they think that by denying that they are gay or bisexual they are protected from AIDS, they are denying reality. And denying reality invariably has a cost.
The CDC may not be doing anyone, including itself, a favor by using a single term for gay men and for "straight" men who have sex with men. They are different populations with different attitudes and behaviors. So whatever the CDC wishes to call those "straight" men, maybe after more than two decades it is time for the CDC to start calling gay men by our own name.
8 Comments for “Gay Men Vs. ‘MSM’”
posted by Michael M. on
I have long thought that there should be a distinction between “gay” and “homosexual.” Being homosexual, or bisexual or heterosexual for that matter, is a state arrived at, so far as we know to date, through a complicated mix of genetic disposition and cultural/social influences. Being gay is a cultural identity. That the vast majority of people who call themselves gay are also (primarily or exclusively) homosexual doesn’t make those two things the same. I am a homosexual by inclination — whether that inclination was determined solely by biology or was influenced by other factors is beside the point. It’s just a fact, part of who I am, like the fact that I have brown eyes. But I am gay by choice. I choose how I want to live my life, and to my mind, the debate over gay rights should really be centered around whether I or anyone should have that choice to make. The Christian Right and their allies in the Republican Party are, in essense, arguing that we shouldn’t. The path they would like us to take is the “ex-gay” path. The more liberal amongst them would like us simply to stay closeted and make as little noise as possible while going about our business in private (forget about asking for anything resembling equal treatment under the law). The more conservative amongst them would like us to renounce our nature altogether. I’m tired of the knee-jerk responses from the gay communities along the lines of “being gay isn’t a choice.” Being a homosexual isn’t a choice, but being gay is. I could find a woman to marry, even force myself to have sex with her once in a while, but I choose not to. The question is not “Can we change the way we live our lives?”, but should we have to, if we don’t want to?
posted by jomicur on
This is all a symptom of American hypocrisy, to my mind. In America you’re simply not gay unless you say you are. (I recently had a straight friend explain to me that Lance Bass wasn’t really gay until he came out.) It’s the label that matters, not the lifestyle, not the identity, not the behavior. You can have sex with other men–hell, you can fuck every other guy you meet–but if you say you’re not gay, then in most Americans’ minds, you’re not.
I’m a novelist, and I’ve actually had straight readers try to tell me some of me characters aren’t really gay. When I press them for an explanation, it always comes down to the same thing: the character isn’t specifically labeled gay (even though he may say he’s in love with another male character), therefore he isn’t. This is self-evident hogwash.
Among other things it’s the cultural loophole that closeted celebrities rely on. When they waffle and say they choose not to talk about it, that’s sufficient to give straights room to believe they’re not gay.
And I repeat, this kind of hypocrisy is an integral part of the American character. It’s always been perfectly okay to engage in any kind of behavior here as long as you insist publicly on “traditional values.” Hawthorne left the country a hundred and fifty years ago, claiming hypocrisy was the dominant strain in America’s national character; today it’s even worse.
posted by Randi Schimnosky on
Michael M. to many, maybe most LGBTs gay (like homosexual) simply means same sex attracted. I don’t accept that gay or lgbt means any type of identity, I am transgendered, which means I have physical and physcological characteristics that cross the stereotypical boundaries of male and female. If you are same sex attracted and you marry a female and force yourself to have sex with her once in a while, you are still gay regardless of what you feel your identity is.
posted by jeffrey hubbard on
I’ve recently found several internet sites relating to something called g0ys [that’s “g0y” with a zero rather than the letter “o”.
Some g0ys engage in sex only with other men; some are bi-sexual; others have sex only with women but want rather intense emotional relationships with other men. A strong disapproval of anal sex is very much a part of the g0y movement.
g0ys do not think of themselves as gay because they equate gayness with stereotypical behaviour which they don’t think of themselves as representing.
posted by Northeast Libertarian on
Here\\’s a question for all of you — why should we care how the government\\’s various bureaucracies categorize us in its meaningless studies? It\\’s already well-documented that government \\”research\\” on various issues is fudged to support the policy agenda of whoever happens to be in power — why worry about the conclusions of \\”research\\” which would earn an average student at an average university an \\”F?\\”
posted by Dave on
Soon, we will all have gay-meters to determine the level of gayness within each of us (at least, for that day). Will there be battles of who is more gay, or more hetero… Or will it be slanted by which gender gives you a date and submits to your wilds that night; with fifty-levels of phagness to help you rationalize.
Let\\’s face it, MSM\\’s, g0ys, bi\\’s… No matter the degree or level, you\\’re gay, a fag, a homo (sapien). Enjoy your life, and learn to be happy with yourself.
Let\\’s face it, our wonderful society forces us not to accept openly who we are. We attempt to rationalize it even to ourselves. We all know that it\\’s not easy. So stay in the closet if that makes it easier for you, but at least be true to yourself.
So, the next time you go down on your knees (and you know you will), give a little thanks, for learning to accept yourself for who you truly are, as well.
posted by Jack Daniels on
G0YS are growing explosively for the very reason that they’ve set themselves apart from stereotype by rejecting certain acts that are clearly promoted as “mainstream gAy”.
G0Y also boast an increadilbly LOW rate of STD’s. This is a stark contrast with the “gay male community” – that has the highest rate of STD’s. That difference speaks volumes. Those of us who relate to the movement are breathing a sigh of relief — sometime the first in our lives! See for yourselves: http://g0ys.org
posted by Masculinity on
I think to really understand why straight men avoid the gay label you have to look at it from a non-western and non-gay perspective.
Please visit this site on men and masculinity:
http://youth-masculinity.blogspot.com/
It presents a completely new dimension to the issue.