‘Safe’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Shut Up’

A friend writes, "I'm coordinating a safe-space training at [an urban public university]. One participant stated that she felt she was a strong ally, but her religious beliefs dictate that homosexuality is a sin. What should I do? Can I deny her a safe-space sticker, or ask her not to advise students on religious issues?"

This is a hard question.

It's hard partly because of its legal implications. Georgia Tech, another state school, recently lost a lawsuit because its safe-space program distributed literature uniformly criticizing traditional interpretations of the Bible. Not surprisingly, a federal judge ruled that this practice violated the First Amendment by favoring particular religious viewpoints. (Georgia Tech has kept its safe-space program but dropped the religious literature.)

Legal matters aside, the question raises difficult policy issues. What counts as "safe"?

Safe-space programs generally involve a school-sponsored diversity training focusing on LGBT issues. Upon completing it, participants receive a sticker to display on their office doors announcing their "ally" status.

Given how often religion is used as a weapon, I can understand why many LGBT students would not feel "safe" while being judged as sinners. We should never underestimate the potential damage done by telling youth, at a delicate stage in identity formation, that acting on their deep longings could lead to eternal separation from God.

In contemplating my friend's question, I mainly thought of those vulnerable students, and how best to protect them. I also thought of my friend John.

John is a faculty member at a small private liberal arts college. He is an evangelical Christian who believes that homosexual conduct conflicts with God's plan as revealed in the bible. And yet John defies easy stereotypes. He supports civil marriage equality, decries the various ways religion is used to harm LGBT people, and avoids "heteronormative language" (his words) in his classroom.

While he believes that homosexual conduct (not to mention plenty of heterosexual and non-sexual conduct) is sinful, he also believes that all humans-himself included-have an imperfect grasp of God's will, and that we should generally strive to respect other people's life choices and give them wide latitude in forging their own paths. John and his wife have welcomed me in their home, and during grace before the meal, his wife asked for God's blessing on me, my partner Mark, and our relationship. (For the record, I did not take the latter to imply approval for every aspect of our relationship.)

In light of all I know about John and his loving treatment of LGBT persons, I can think of few spaces "safer" than his office. Any program that would disqualify him draws the circle of "safe spaces" too narrowly.

Moreover, there are good strategic reasons for wanting to make the circle of self-proclaimed allies as inclusive as possible, consistent with the well-being of LGBT students. We need people like John to make their presence known.

Yet I am not suggesting that we draw the circle so broadly as to rob "safe space" of any real meaning. Any student in any campus office-stickered or not-should expect to be treated with respect and professionalism. Presumably, the safe-space sticker denotes venues that substantially exceed that bare minimum (as John's office would).

So how does one draw the circle broadly enough to include John and other conservative religious allies while excluding those who might rant about gays burning in hell?

As with any policy question involving human beings, there's no perfect formula here (just as there are no perfect people). To some extent, the desired group will be somewhat self-selecting. Those interested in condemning LGBT people to hell generally don't attend voluntary pro-gay diversity trainings.

Yet there are also steps one can take to tailor the circle. My recommendation would be to include, among various other elements of a pledge taken by safe-space training participants, something along the following lines:

"I understand that my own values and beliefs may differ from those of students who seek me out for a 'safe space,' and will refer students to appropriate resources given their particular values, beliefs, interests and desires."

The idea here is that students who wish to retreat to a "narrower" circle will be assisted in doing so. Note that religious people offer such assistance all the time. Think, for example, of the Christian who helpfully directs a student to the Buddhist Student Center, despite her personal conviction that eternal salvation is through Christ alone.

On this approach, students who want pro-gay religious literature can receive it and evaluate it for themselves. At the same time, those who want the advice of fellow conservative evangelicals, for example, or fellow Orthodox Jews, can receive it and evaluate it for themselves.

Admittedly, my recommendation would allow conservative religious students to request and receive-in a designated "safe space"-literature of a sort that's often deeply damaging to LGBT people. But the approach is preferable to the alternatives: a public university's (illegally) favoring particular religious viewpoints, on the one hand, or its becoming silent on religious issues-the Georgia Tech solution-on the other.

Universities are places for free exchange of ideas. As long as that's done in a compassionate manner that respects student autonomy, it should never be considered "unsafe."

Fearless

There's probably a reason anti-gay marriage advocates won't or can't answer Steve Chapman's simple challenge; it's because he called their bluff. Maggie Gallagher offers a weak tea response, which Conor Clarke has no trouble seeing right through.

As is so often true these days in political debate, subjective fears seem to be the path of least resistance, the lazy advocate's way of making a case. Maggie's not normally lazy, but her appeal to fear is not even credible by the low standards of anti-gay argument.

For example, I'm not sure which of Maggie's folks will be "afraid to speak up for their views" in a pro gay-marriage state. Will it be this pastor, who said:

The same God who instituted the death penalty for murderers is the same God who instituted the death penalty for rapists and for homosexuals - sodomites, queers! That's what it was instituted for, okay? That's God, he hasn't changed. Oh, God doesn't feel that way in the New Testament … God never "felt" anything about it, he commanded it and said they should be taken out and killed.

Or these guys with the Facebook gay-bashing page; or this pastor who, even today, is blaming gays for tornados? Even the much vilified federal courts sometimes rule that high school students can wear anti-gay t-shirts to school. Heck, those students even have a federal law to protect them. There is simply no shortage of anti-gay sentiment in the world, and I doubt we'll be running out any time soon.

But even if some of Maggie's supporters do experience this paralyzing fear -- against all of the evidence -- it's certainly not likely that Maggie herself will. So cheer up, Maggie!

2012, Not 2010

Equality California (EQCA) is not sitting back and waiting in the struggle to regain marriage equality in the Golden State. They are "ready and committed to fighting, persuading and working tirelessly - doing whatever it takes to win the right back as quickly as possible." The question for them, in a smart analysis and plan released last week, is when a return to the ballot will give the best chance for victory. Their conclusion: 2012, not 2010.

EQCA offers many reasons why a rematch in 2010 is problematic. Recent years have seen a stall in the movement by California voters toward marriage equality. Experienced political consultants strongly feel "that neither the data nor their intuition supports moving forward with an initiative to win marriage back in 2010." Among those who gave $50,000 or more for last year's fight, EQCA found that most top donors will sit out a 2010 campaign, or, if a measure reaches the ballot, "will participate at a much reduced level of funding."

The leading coalition partners in communities of color consider 15 months insufficient to build the cultural competency and trust required to change minds in those communities. LGBT family groups, noting the increased harassment faced by their school-age children in a heated campaign, argue that the costs of returning to the ballot would outweigh the benefits without a high confidence in victory.

$2 to 3 million would be needed just for a professional signature-gathering effort to gain ballot access. Experienced hands estimate that an affirmative campaign would cost between $30 million and $50 million - a tall order so soon after last year's loss - and the voter and funder fatigue from back-to-back losses would push the next try back at least four years. EQCA also points out the hardships being faced by social service organizations due to the economic downturn, and questions the ethics of spending tens of millions on a 2010 campaign that would be dicey at best.

EQCA has found that for most voters, marriage is more a cultural than a political issue, and changing minds is a lot easier outside the heat of a campaign. Pushing the deadline back to 2012 will give the best chance for California's 18,000 same-sex married couples to crystallize what is at stake, to connect with voters as only friends and family can, and to refute the wealth of misinformation.

The pro-equality numbers look 4 percent better in 2012 when you consider the higher turnout of young voters in a presidential election year, the young people who will join the voter rolls in the next 38 months, and the older people who will leave the voter rolls in the same period. That's without considering the effect of any efforts at persuasion.

EQCA lists many puzzle pieces that must be assembled for success: "field, messaging and media, coalition and leadership outreach, activating our base, work in people of color communities, activating the faith community, supporting the grassroots, campus organizing, voter registration and coordination across the state." Canvassers must be trained to listen as much as to convey the campaign message. EQCA is setting up a speaker's bureau and training speakers, and is working with other groups doing field work to coordinate scripts, voter targeting, and message testing. An innovative online campaign is needed for areas in the state without a field staff presence, since field offices are located where support for Prop 8 was strongest.

An additional 24 months will give equality advocates more time to plan, organize, fundraise, build the grassroots, integrate allied efforts, recruit new allies, and improve outreach to the people of color who comprise a majority of California's population.

Those who insist on returning to the ballot in 2010 should explain how EQCA's analysis is wrong, rather than merely serenade us with stirring rhetoric. Strategy is not a dirty word, and enthusiasm is not enough.

None of us with a stake in this fight wants to wait. Every day that I am separated from my own foreign partner is painful. Unfortunately, wanting is not having. There is a great deal of work remaining to overturn Prop. 8, not to mention the ballot fight looming this November in Maine, where our opponents hold a fundraising edge. Let us do the preparation needed to win a lasting victory in California, and not let our hearts rule our heads.

2010 or 2012: A False Choice

Most states have their own struggles for gay marriage, whether in the long term like Illinois or near term like Maine, where a referendum is coming up almost immediately. But it is California that seems to have seized an outsized portion of the attention.

For one thing, California is by far the largest state. For another both the legislature and the state Supreme Court have voted in favor of gay marriage. But last year voters rejected gay marriage by a vote of 52 to 48 percent.

Now the question roiling California activists is whether to return to the voters to try to have the ban reversed in 2010 or in 2012. Equality California, the group that managed the 2008 effort to preserve gay marriage argues for 2012. But an apparently large group of "grass-roots and net-roots" activists calling themselves the Courage Campaign are pushing for a revote right away-in 2010.

It is difficult to take Equality California very seriously these days. They ran an exclusionary, top-down campaign, hired high-paid consultants, made several strategic misjudgments, spent $40 million dollars-and lost. Not an impressive showing. So why should we believe them now?

On the other hand, what is the Courage Campaign offering? Enthusiasm, to be sure, and a good portion of righteous indignation. But not much else. Consider what they don't offer.

Money. Will the well-off donors who made large contributions to the 2008 struggle want to repeat the process just two years later? Are they not likely to be suffering from "donor fatigue"? Rick Jacobs, Courage Campaign founder, bragged to The New York Times that they had raised $75,000 in just one day.

Fine. Do that for 460 days and you have the amount of money that Equality California spent to lose. If donors can say to Equality California, "No more money for losers," they could say to the Courage Campaign, "No money for people with no track record at all."

A Strategic Plan. If the strategy of Equality California was flawed, where is an alternative strategy by the Courage Campaign? Where is their plan to persuade cultural conservatives, religious voters and ethnic minorities to support gay marriage, to clear up the (alleged) doubts and uncertainties many mddle-of-the-road voters felt about gay marriage, to somehow lure more pro-gay voters to the polls?

Polling Data. The advocates for a 2010 vote have no polling data to suggest that the outcome would be any different from 2008. They should want polling data showing substantial gains in public support for gay marriage among likely voters before they advocate another referendum. Given the tendency of some people to lie to pollsters and purport to have a more gay-supportive or laissez-faire attitude toward gay marriage than they actually do, advocates should want to see polling data showing at least 56 or 57 percent support.

The conclusion forces itself forward that neither 2010 nor 2012 is a really good bet. What California gay marriage advocates should give us is a number-a level of support for gay marriage that would let us know that a referendum finally has an excellent chance of passage. Up to now, support for gay marriage has been growing at a rate of roughly one-half to one percent a year.

In the meantime, to hasten that result, they could work in various ways on changing people's minds about gay marriage. But no one has shown us any plans to do that. Until either side offers that, it is hard to take them seriously.

Tailwinds…and Tail-Covering

Don't miss Ryan Sager's post (especially the graphs) on the chasm between younger and older people on gay marriage. Citing a new paper by academics Jeffrey Lax and Justin Phillips, he sez:

If people over 65 in each state made the laws, zero states would have gay marriage; if people under 30 made the laws, 38 states would have gay marriage.

Also must-read: In the Chicago Tribune, Steve Chapman wonders why the same folks who predict social catastrophe if gay marriage is allowed refuse to make specific, testable predictions.

I have a strong suspicion that both sides of the debate are right. The supporters of same-sex marriage are right in predicting that it will have no bad side effects. And the opponents are right not to make predictions.

Turning Over a New Brief

Here's a flip-flop to welcome. In its original brief in a California lawsuit challenging the Defense of Marriage Act, the Obama Justice Department adduced a bevy of standard anti-gay-marriage arguments to defend DOMA's constitutionality-including the old standby that restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples isn't discriminatory because, after all, homosexuals can have opposite-sex marriages too.

Now, in its latest reply brief, the administration switches tack. It states unequivocally that the ban on gay marriage is a form of discrimination, as IGF contributor Dale Carpenter notes over at Volokh.com. And although DOMA passes the so-called rational basis test (ergo Congress had the power to enact it), it's not rational because banning gay marriage is rational (it isn't), but only because Congress is entitled, for the time being, to leave the issue to the states. There's no attempt to characterize DOMA as anything but discriminatory and unjustified.

Unlike some gay-marriage advocates, I believe that DOMA is, in fact, constitutional, in the sense that Congress has the power to enact it. I also believe, however, that setting up a federal definition of marriage at odds with those of (now) six states is bad policy. So, second time around, Obama gets it right.

And better late than never. Dale concludes:

While gay-rights groups complain that the DOJ is continuing to defend the constitutionality of DOMA, and are understandably disturbed by the still-unabandoned arguments the DOJ made back in June, they should be delighted by the turn taken in this reply brief. It will serve the cause of SSM in state and especially federal courts for years to come.

Famly Guy: Just Kidding

As I've mentioned before, I think the right's attempt to conflate gay marriage and abortion is both wrong and deceptive, certainly as a constitutional matter. And I'm coming to believe this false analogy might also be wrong as a cultural matter.

Fox's " Family Guy " is easily the most wildly satiric, boundary-crossing show on network television. It is sometimes compared to "The Simpsons," but no matter how far out "The Simpsons" gets, it always swings back to television's essential sentimentality; "Family Guy" will have none of that. "South Park" is more caustic, still, but "Family Guy" sets the network standard for how far comedy can go.

And that's pretty far. For the unitiated, one year-old baby Stewie is gay (and has made several aggressive attempts to murder his mother), next-door neighbor Quagmire is a sex-addicted airline pilot, and any attempt to chronicle the carnal lives of husband and wife Peter and Lois would not be publishable in most newspapers. And that's not to mention the old pedophile who lives across the street, with his eternal affection for very underage boys.

Amidst all that explicitly sexual content is a lot of homosexuality, which Fox seems to have had no problem with. But abortion is where Fox draws the line. The show's inspired creator, the divine Seth MacFarlane, finally decided to do a show about abortion (35 years after "Maude" did, with no intervening encounters), and the network wouldn't air it. The best they'd agree to do is include it on a DVD of the series.

Even reading a description of the episode, and watching the three darkly riotous clips read by the cast, shows that abortion is in a completely different class from homosexuality -- it is still incendiary as the subject of humor.

That is as telling as anything I can think of. In fact, it may clarify what distinguishes the right from the rest of the country. With sitcoms like "Ellen" and "Will & Grace" happily ensconced in syndication, most of the nation is comfortable enough with homosexuality to laugh about it and with us. It's not a touchy issue for the most part, except among a shrinking number of cranks and malcontents. In contrast, abortion is something that really is, always, deeply serious and off-limits to jokes.

To be fair, a lot of lesbians and gay men can tend to be ill-humored, particularly when our rights are at stake. I'm that way, myself, sometimes. But it should comfort us all that there is room in the culture for kidding around about homosexuality. It shows a healthy acceptance.

Breathing Room

For the most part I'm with Dale, and am, if anything, more optimistic than he is about 2012. Two extra years gives us, and the voters, breathing room. My biggest disagreement with him is whether a vote in 2010 would be a "calamity."

In my opinion, we get to keep doing this until we get it right. Marriage equality is no longer a mere possibility. It will happen. It's not necessary for anyone to think opponents are bigots to see that they misunderstand us. The seemingly ancient argument about us demanding "special rights" has faded into obscurity. That rhetoric depends on people viewing the status quo -- and our exclusion from it -- as eternal. That's no longer the dominant cultural assumption, and as it eroded, heterosexual voters (and judges) could see that we really are asking for nothing more than exactly the same rights they have and take for granted. They can see the status quo as tilted in their favor, and once you see that, our own inequality really does come into focus.

That means we can lose elections without losing our moral standing. More important, our opponents look smaller and meaner with each increasingly fragile victory. As their numbers fall off, their empty arguments seem more incoherent. The case of Doug Manchester illustrates the point. One of Prop. 8's largest early donors, he opposed our equality because of his "Catholic faith and longtime affiliation with the Catholic Church," as he told the NY Times. That's fair enough, except that a couple months after that donation, he and his wife separated and began divorce proceedings, which are now at their most disagreeable stage. Neither divorce nor hypocrisy is alien to human nature, but cases like this help people see the selfishness and convenience of hoarding religious favor for yourself and denying it to others.

The cornucopia of groups supporting same-sex marriage almost assures that it's possible someone not affiliated with our leadership might be able to qualify a repeal initiative. Equality California's very good report, Winning Back Marriage Equality in California lists 78 distinct groups they are working with. That's a testament to the vibrancy and diversity of our cause. But it's also a sign that our self-selected leadership cannot be as monolithic as it sometimes seems to wish.

And that is my concern. Here is how EQCA views the job we have to do in California:

We need to do outreach to every progressive organization in California: to labor unions, to progressive churches (more on that below), to women's groups and civil rights organizations.

Are there really that many progressives out there who need to be convinced on gay equality? The assumption of our leadership continues to be that they need to appeal to the liberal in everyone. That assumption is clearest in their invocation to broaden their base:

At the same time, we need to continue and expand our work on issues of concern to our partners in the broader struggle for social justice. We must also identify and enlist new spokespeople, particularly those who are not "usual suspects"-Republicans, business leaders, leaders from communities of color, "mainstream" clergy, cultural and entertainment stars and others. And we must identify appropriate outlets for them to help make the case.

Am I the only one who detects just a whiff of condescension here to the very people I think are the key targets of any attempt to overturn Prop. 8 at the ballot box? While there are still "partners" in the fight for social justice to be embraced, the movement is just looking for "new spokespeople" among Republicans, business leaders and others, for whom the leaders "must identify appropriate outlets" in order to help them out.

The fact that EQCA does not see Republicans -- and business leaders, for heaven's sake! -- as partners (or even as independent thinkers when it comes to gay marriage) reveals the worst aspects of the Democratic left as it tries to achieve the best aspirations of Democratic philosophy. Two years may not be enough to cure that, but there are enough Republicans, not to mention those ever-suspect "business leaders"who can suck up this kind of condescension for the greater good.

Right Call

Despite what I had feared (see here and here), it seems common sense has prevailed. Equality California, the main gay lobbying group in the state, has announced it won't support a Prop 8 repeal effort in 2010. See the group's analysis here. This despite the group's hint last May that it probably would support a 2010 effort. It seems that EQCA looked hard at the voter projections and polls, the short time frame, the lack of unity among gay advocates for 2010, and especially at the lack of support for 2010 among big donors, and has decided to target 2012.

I'm still not persuaded that even 2012 is the right time, but at least it's more realistic. Further, I understand the need to start a fundraising, organizing, and educational campaign now on the basis of a target date that isn't five or more years away (2014 or 2016).

Of course, some of the "grassroots" activists on Facebook and elsewhere who think a campaign is a matter of sending around a bunch of emails and starting a website will continue the quixotic 2010 effort. But without the backing of the main existing California group, and especially without the backing of major donors, they will probably fail even to qualify language for the ballot. At least let's hope they fail, because if they succeed we'll face a real calamity: a 2010 fight we won't win.

Now comes the hard part: actually raising the money and organizing for a possible ballot fight in three years.

Gay Marriage in California: More Than Spreadsheets

One of California's best -- and quirkiest -- political writers is Bill Bradley, whose New West Notes is essential reading if you're interested in California. He has a new piece at the Huffington Post on the strategic debate over when to repeal Prop. 8 that surveys the landscape pretty well.

But his discussion of strategy, like most discussions of strategy, I suppose, is too clinical. Political strategy can be a cold science, but as we learned from Yes on 8's Frank Schubert (who is now in Maine, trying to establish himself as the nation's go-to guy for the anti-gay marriage crowd), politics is very often best practiced by intuition and guts. A less nimble opponent might have missed the implications of Gavin Newsom's "Whether you like it or not" gaffe, which no strategy could ever have anticipated. Schubert's instinct for populist homophobia was right on, and he capitalized on it, to his -- well, "credit" isn't exactly the right word for his amoral achievement.

But there's not much life left in that horse, and maybe next time we'll have some folks of our own whose instincts are better than their spreadhseets. It's that aspect of politics -- and particularly the politics of gay marriage -- that I think our leaders are missing. The other side claims a vague and tattered morality, but we've got the real thing.

There is another non-strategic fact about any repeal of Prop. 8 that transcends the pie charts. Whether it happens in 2010 or 2012, or even, god forbid, 2014, California will, almost certainly, be the first state to have its voters amend their constitution to eliminate a ban on gay marriage. The constitutional bans, and particularly Prop. 8, were the last creakings of the machine of discrimination. The repeal of Prop. 8, whenever it comes, will be looked back on as the death knell for an unlamented age. And I'm still quite sure California will be the state that strikes that blow.