Appreciating Paul Varnell

Paul Varnell's column in the Chicago Free Press, like so much quality journalism these days, has fallen victim to the budget ax.

Paul was the founding editor of IGF, back in the 1990s, and his columns have been a mainstay of our site. His sane yet passionate pieces in the Free Press and, before that, the Windy City Times modeled a calmer, more rational kind of writing and thinking at a time when so many gay voices were shrill and doctrinaire. And it seemed there was nothing that Paul couldn't write elegantly about.

The Chicago Sun-Times has a lovely appreciation of Paul's work by Neil Steinberg.

Paul tells Steinberg: "It was my identity, and I felt I was doing something worthwhile by trying to be calm and reasonable." We hope Paul finds a new outlet. He's still needed.

Turning Schools into Closets

So now it's official: Opponents of gay marriage in Maine do not just want to block gay marriage. They want to use the law to force all discussion of gay marriage out of the schools. In other words, they demand to turn the public schools into closets.

This was always implicit in the logic of their anti-SSM message, which is, as far as it goes, unassailable. 1) Legal gay marriage will make married gay couples more visible and grant them full legal equality. 2) Gay couples' heightened equality and visibility will increase the likelihood that gay marriage would be discussed in schools, even though marriage isn't in the Maine curriculum.

Of course, if gay marriage can be discussed despite not being in the curriculum, it can also be discussed despite not being legal in Maine. Its existence in Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, and New Hampshire might come up in the classroom, for example. So the logical consequence is: 3) The only way to protect schoolchildren's ears from mention of SSM is to censor it.

Don't take my word for it. Here's what a "Yes on 1" official says:

Mutty said gay-marriage supporters had the chance to prohibit the teaching of same-sex marriage in schools when they drafted the legislation.

"They had ample opportunity to blunt our concerns by expressly prohibiting same-sex marriage from being discussed in public schools, but they did not do so," he said.

The Maine campaign, then, is not about preventing gay marriage. It's about preventing discussion of gay marriage. But why stop at "expressly prohibiting same-sex marriage from being discussed in public schools"? How about domestic partnerships? Why, isn't the very existence of homosexuality too controversial for children's ears? How about textbooks and-hey!-library books mentioning gay marriage or gay couples? Hadn't they better be banned?

I would thank Mr. Mutty for clarifying the underlying radicalism of his cause. Let's call him on it.

(Hat tip: KC Johnson.)

Grabbing the Education Nettle

The latest "Yes on 1" ad, just released by supporters of the Maine initiative revoking same-sex marriage, strikes me as so misleading, and so tangential to marriage per se, as to amount to little more than a naked pitch that gays will recruit your kids-the anti-gay "blood libel."

In a Sept. 18 memo, Maine public officials and law professors responded effectively to the substance of such ads (which, of course, really have not much substance to respond to): Marriage is not taught in the Maine curriculum and won't be soon; Maine has good religious-liberty protections in existing law; the cases misleadingly cited by SSM opponents have nothing to do with marriage per se (they're anti-discrimination cases). It's a fine letter. Everyone should read it.

But here's the political problem we face in Maine and California and, we can be confident, elsewhere. We are asking for full legal equality and, where education is concerned, we still have not figured out how to defend it. As the new ad makes pretty brazenly clear, what our opponents are really saying in their ads is: "Gay marriage will make it legally and morally harder for schools to condemn or ignore same-sex marriage, to teach that straight families are superior to gay ones, and to ignore and stigmatize homosexuality generally."

There's no denying that measures advancing gay equality in law, culture, and society will, other things being equal, advance gay equality in schools. If we cannot figure out how to defend that core proposition to voters, we're going to lose.

So what's my bright idea? I'm working on it. But I suspect the answer will be in the nature of a positive, forthright, non-defensive message about the value of teaching kids that discrimination is wrong and that everyone deserves a family. "Liar liar pants on fire" looks to voters like an evasion.

Heat Shield

Whether adding robust (as opposed to paper-thin) religious-liberty exemptions to Maine's gay-marriage law would have kept that law off the ballot is dubious, at best. But there maybe something to suggestion-made here (PDF) by Prof. Douglas Laycock, a gay-marriage supporter-that adding those exemptions now might take some steam out of the anti-gay-marriage initiative. Since reasonable and robust religious exemptions make sense anyway, this should be tried.

Another group of legal scholars weighs in for them here (PDF).

A persuasive rebuttal: K.C. Johnson, a Brooklyn College historian, Maine native and voter, and co-author of a book on the Duke lacrosse fiasco, offers this reply to my post (excerpted, with his permission, from a longer email):

I just read the Wilson group's letter to Gov. Baldacci, and write to express my dismay at its timing-and your suggestion that Baldacci and the legislative Dems should consider adopting it at this stage of the campaign.

I suspect [that] the Yes on 1 effort will use the Wilson letter to revive their theme that the state will see a flood of lawsuits if Question 1 is rejected. That the Wilson group's letter acknowledged that their original missive had been misinterpreted in Yes on 1 advertisements but still felt compelled to send another letter, at the height of the campaign, strikes me as disturbing.

I also found absurd the Wilson group's claim that if only the state legislature had adopted their suggestions in the spring, the resulting campaign would have been more "civil." Since Yes on 1 seems entirely responsive to NOM and the state Catholic Church--both of which would have opposed gay marriage anyway-it's hard to imagine the provision's adoption making any difference in the tone of the campaign. Indeed, the provision is irrelevant to the education argument that's been at the heart of the Yes on 1 campaign.

I support religious exceptions-although not the Wilson group's assertion that these exceptions could, in some circumstances, apply to government employees-for political reasons. But given the way this particular campaign has turned out, I don't think there's much evidence that things would have been any different if the law profs' recommendations had been adopted, and the timing of this current batch of letters strikes me as highly unfortunate.

‘Tear Down This Closet!’

Over at Newsweek.com, IGF contributor Jamie Kirchick points out that the appointment, in Germany, of the world's first openly gay foreign minister presents a historic opportunity to embarrass the world's leading homophobes.

After he takes the helm of the Foreign Ministry, [Guido] Westerwelle ought to kick off his tenure with a tour of the world's most homophobic nations, speaking about the horrific ways in which these regimes treat their gay citizens.

Or, failing that, just raising the issue would make a difference. "Hillary Clinton and her predecessors Madeleine Albright and Condoleezza Rice have given great rhetorical and symbolic force to the cause of female equality during their tenures." Let's hope for the same symbolic advocacy from Westerwelle.

It’s the Independents, Stupid

Daily Kos posts poll numbers from Maine: If the vote to revoke gay marriage were held there today, we'd lose by two points, 46-48. Given that more people tend to vote against same-sex marriage than admit in polls they'll vote against it, the real gap is probably more like 5 or more percent.

No news in the finding that women and younger people are more supportive of same-sex marriage, but look at the partisan breakdowns. Our problem can be summarized in one word: Republicans. Democrats favor SSM by a two-to-one margin (60-30). Independents favor it by seven percentage points (52-45). But Republicans are overwhelmingly, crushingly opposed, 74-20-and their combination of solidarity and intensity swings the whole equation.

This intensity gap explains why, as two political scientists, Jeffrey Lax and Justin Phillips, found recently [PDF], policy tends to be more conservative on gay marriage than the voters prefer-not, as conservatives often insist, more liberal.

It also underscores the importance of targeting persuasion relentlessly to the political middle. Forget about preaching to the converted. Another five percentage points or so of independents changes the game. That's the challenge.

Gay Marriage, Straight Disaster?

In a recent blog post, I took note of a column in which Steve Chapman of the Chicago Tribune writes that I, among other gay-marriage advocates, "forthrightly asserted that granting gays access to matrimony will have no discernible [social] impact." My quote:

"I wouldn't expect much effect on the social indicators that would be visible to the naked eye," said Jonathan Rauch.

In my book and elsewhere, of course, I've argued that same-sex marriage is more likely to strengthen the culture of marriage than weaken it, and that shutting out gays, far from being risk-free, would be likely to redefine marriage as a civil-rights violation.

In order not to appear any more inconsistent than I actually am, I want to put on record the whole paragraph that I sent to Chapman:

Hi Steve. SSM directly affects only a small number of couples, so direct effects on the non-gay population are likely to be small. Cultural effects-e.g., bolstering the norm of marriage vs. normalizing alternative family structures-are indirect and distinguishing signal from noise would be hard. So I wouldn't expect much effect on the social indicators that would be clearly visible to the naked eye.

I'm not sure why Steve edited out the word "clearly," which made the point a bit, um, clearer: direct, immediate impacts of allowing gay marriage will be small, because so few couples are directly involved. Indirect effects, ramifying through the culture in the form of, say, increased (or decreased) support for the norm of marriage, may be quite large over time. But it's hard to trace these indirect cultural influences with any specificity, or to know what would have happened under some alternative scenario. Identifying them will require some fairly sophisticated research (thus: "not clearly visible to the naked eye").

So, don't get me wrong: either allowing or banning gay marriage will probably have some effects on heterosexual behavior. But the obvious effects will be small, and the larger effects won't be obvious.

Tailwinds…and Tail-Covering

Don't miss Ryan Sager's post (especially the graphs) on the chasm between younger and older people on gay marriage. Citing a new paper by academics Jeffrey Lax and Justin Phillips, he sez:

If people over 65 in each state made the laws, zero states would have gay marriage; if people under 30 made the laws, 38 states would have gay marriage.

Also must-read: In the Chicago Tribune, Steve Chapman wonders why the same folks who predict social catastrophe if gay marriage is allowed refuse to make specific, testable predictions.

I have a strong suspicion that both sides of the debate are right. The supporters of same-sex marriage are right in predicting that it will have no bad side effects. And the opponents are right not to make predictions.

Turning Over a New Brief

Here's a flip-flop to welcome. In its original brief in a California lawsuit challenging the Defense of Marriage Act, the Obama Justice Department adduced a bevy of standard anti-gay-marriage arguments to defend DOMA's constitutionality-including the old standby that restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples isn't discriminatory because, after all, homosexuals can have opposite-sex marriages too.

Now, in its latest reply brief, the administration switches tack. It states unequivocally that the ban on gay marriage is a form of discrimination, as IGF contributor Dale Carpenter notes over at Volokh.com. And although DOMA passes the so-called rational basis test (ergo Congress had the power to enact it), it's not rational because banning gay marriage is rational (it isn't), but only because Congress is entitled, for the time being, to leave the issue to the states. There's no attempt to characterize DOMA as anything but discriminatory and unjustified.

Unlike some gay-marriage advocates, I believe that DOMA is, in fact, constitutional, in the sense that Congress has the power to enact it. I also believe, however, that setting up a federal definition of marriage at odds with those of (now) six states is bad policy. So, second time around, Obama gets it right.

And better late than never. Dale concludes:

While gay-rights groups complain that the DOJ is continuing to defend the constitutionality of DOMA, and are understandably disturbed by the still-unabandoned arguments the DOJ made back in June, they should be delighted by the turn taken in this reply brief. It will serve the cause of SSM in state and especially federal courts for years to come.

A Crossroads for Conservatives

Last October, Bill Meezan, my cousin, left his home in Columbus, Ohio, for a business trip to Philadelphia. Bill is the dean of Ohio State University's College of Social Work, and he travels quite a bit. In Philadelphia, he thought he felt an old cold coming back. Then he developed a nasty cough. On October 31, he went to the hospital.

He remembers nothing of that day, but Mike Brittenback recalls sharply how doctors in Philadelphia called him in Columbus to say they suspected pneumonia. Mike, an organist and choirmaster, is Bill's partner of 30 years. A few hours later that Friday, they called back to confirm the diagnosis. Mike was concerned but not alarmed.

At 3 a.m. the next day, the phone woke him up. It was a doctor in Philadelphia. Mike needed to come to Philadelphia immediately. Bill had gone into septic shock and might not survive more than a few hours.

* * *

"Here's the key principle," Peter Sprigg, a gay-marriage opponent with the Family Research Council, said in an April radio interview on Southern California's KCRW. "Society gives benefits to marriage because marriage gives benefits to society. And therefore the burden of proof has to be on the advocates of same-sex marriage to demonstrate that homosexual relationships benefit society. Not just benefit the individuals who participate but benefit society in the same way and to the same degree that heterosexual marriage does. And that's a burden that I don't think they can meet."

Can't they?

* * *

Having just been told, at 3 a.m., that his partner of three decades might die within hours, Mike Brittenback was told something else: Before rushing to Bill's side, he needed to collect and bring with him documents proving his medical power of attorney. This indignity, unheard-of in the world of heterosexual marriage, is a commonplace of American gay life.

Frantic, Mike tore through the house but could not find the papers. He would need to retrieve them from a safe-deposit box. Which was at a bank. Which did not open until 9 a.m.

Somehow Mike made it through the next six hours, "crying and frantic and all kinds of awful things running through my mind," fetched the documents, and got on the road. By some higher mercy, those lost hours did not cost Bill his life. When Mike arrived in Philadelphia on Saturday afternoon, Bill was still alive, though in grave danger.

Mike had packed clothes for a week.

* * *

National Review has a cover story this month by Maggie Gallagher, a prominent anti-gay-marriage activist, subtitled: "Why Gay Marriage Isn't Inevitable." She is right, in a sense. Most states explicitly ban same-sex marriage, often by constitutional amendment, and the country remains deeply divided. The national argument over marriage's meaning will go on for years to come.

In another sense, however, she is wrong. Never again will America _not_ have gay marriage, and never again will less than a majority favor some kind of legal and social recognition for same-sex couples. The genie that gay-marriage opponents still hope to stuff back into the bottle is out and out for good.

Oddly, Gallagher, Sprigg, and other gay-marriage opponents don't understand why this has happened. It comes down not to demographics (young people are more likely than their elders to favor gay marriage, but the demographics are changing quite slowly), nor to liberal elites' cultural influence (Gallagher's explanation). It comes down to Mike and Bill.

* * *

At the hospital, Mike found Bill in an induced coma, attached to so much equipment that the only place Mike could touch him without touching a tube was on the forehead.

A vigil began. Mike spent days at Bill's bedside and nights at a hotel. His career and personal life mostly stopped while he fielded queries from friends and relatives, kept in close touch with Bill's anxious parents, and dealt with mail and household business from Columbus. Above all, he managed Bill's care.

Bill had repeated setbacks. Two cardiac arrests. The dialysis machine kept failing. Thrush spread to the lungs. Heart arrhythmia. Hallucinations. Trouble removing a breathing tube. In person by day, on the phone at night, doctors huddled with Mike.

Days stretched into weeks. Thanksgiving came and went. Six weeks passed in Philadelphia. "I never missed a day," Mike recalls. "I felt he needed me there. I really felt he knew I was there. He would smile when I came in, even when he was in an induced coma."

* * *

Peter Sprigg and Maggie Gallagher are cut from different cloths in some respects-Sprigg condemns homosexuality, whereas Gallagher accepts it-but they have in common what they offer to couples like Mike and Bill: silence. The same is true of nearly all other prominent opponents of same-sex marriage. (David Blankenhorn of the Institute for American Values is an honorable exception.)

If gay couples can't be allowed to marry, what _should_ they be able to do? Asked this question, cultural conservatives say, in the words of Tom Lehrer's song about the German rocket scientist Wernher von Braun, "That's not my department." Effectively, conservatives are saying that what Mike and Bill do for each other has no significance outside their own bedroom.

But what happened in that hospital in Philadelphia for those six weeks was not just Mike and Bill's business, a fact that is self-evident to any reasonable human being who hears the story. "Mike was making a medical decision at least once a day that would have serious consequences," Bill told me. Who but a life partner would or could have done that? Who but a life partner will drop everything to provide constant care? Bill's mother told me that if not for Mike, her son would have died. Faced with this reality, what kind of person, morally, simply turns away and offers silence?

Not the sort of person who populates the United States of America. If Republicans wonder why they find themselves culturally marginalized, particularly by younger Americans, they might consider the fact that when the party looks at couples like Mike and Bill it sees, in effect, nothing.

* * *

By Thanksgiving, Bill was stable enough to be brought out of sedation. As he drifted in and out of consciousness, he formulated a plan. Tubes and a tracheostomy prevented talking, but almost as soon as he could write on a whiteboard, he scrawled a message for Mike. "Will you marry me?"

Mike broke down. "I cried. It was tears of joy."

In January, now back in Columbus, Bill was finally released from the hospital, his weight down by more than a fourth. Over the next few months, he underwent weeks of physical therapy, and Mike developed post-traumatic stress disorder, and Bill's mother died, and Bill decided not to renew his deanship. In the press of events, the marriage proposal seemed to recede. In conversations with Mike, Bill equivocated about when to tie the knot.

* * *

Conservatives have a decision to make. They can continue pretending that the bond between Mike and Bill does not exist, is of no social value, or has no place on conservatives' agenda. Doing so would be of a piece with their retreat to economic Hooverism, their embrace of cultural Palinism, and, in general, their preference for purity over relevance.

Or they can acknowledge what to most of the country is already obvious: Whether the nation finally settles on marriage or on something else for gay couples, Bill and Mike are now in the mainstream and the Republican Party is not. If cultural conservatism continues to treat same-sex couples as outside the social covenant, the currents of history will flow right around it, and future generations of conservatives will wonder how their predecessors could ever have made such a callous and politically costly mistake.

* * *

This month, Mike and Bill will vacation on Cape Cod. Mike is expecting to relax. Bill has been shopping, secretly, for wedding rings. His equivocation, of course, is a ruse. Same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts. On August 20, without warning Mike, Bill will produce the same whiteboard that he used in the hospital last year, and on it he will again write, "Will you marry me?" Four days later, they will be married in a small ceremony with friends.

"When I asked him to marry me in the hospital," Bill says, "I have never seen a smile on his face like that. I have never seen that kind of joy. Ever. I want to re-create that. And that's why I want this to be a surprise."

And so it will be, reader, if you can keep a secret.