AN INCREASINGLY COMMON objection to same-sex marriage takes the
form of a slippery-slope argument: "If we allow gay marriage, why
not polygamy? Or incest? Or bestiality?" This argument is nothing
new, having been used against interracial marriage in the 1960's.
But what it lacks in originality it more than makes up for in
rhetorical force: given the choice between rejecting homosexuality
or accepting a sexual free-for-all, mainstream Americans tend to
opt for the former.
Unfortunately, sound-bite arguments don't always lend themselves
to sound-bite refutations. Part of the problem is that the
polygamy/incest/bestiality argument (PIB argument for short) is not
really an argument at all. Instead, it's a challenge: "Okay, Mr.
Sexual Liberal: explain to me why polygamy, incest, and bestiality
are wrong." Most people are not prepared to do that - certainly not
in twenty words or less. And many answers that leap to mind (for
example, that PIB relationships violate well-established social
norms) won't work for the defender of same-sex relationships (since
same-sex relationships, too, violate well-established social
norms).
In what follows I respond to the PIB challenge. But first, I
wish to set aside two popular responses that I think are
inadequate. Call the first the "We really exist" argument.
According to this argument, homosexuality is different from
polygamy, incest, and bestiality because there are "constitutional"
homosexuals, but not constitutional polygamists, incestualists, or
bestialists. As Andrew Sullivan writes,
Almost everyone seems to accept, even if they find homosexuality
morally troublesome, that it occupies a deeper level of human
consciousness than a polygamous impulse. Even the Catholic Church,
which believes that homosexuality is an "objective disorder,"
concedes that it is a profound element of human
identity....[P]olygamy is an activity, whereas both homosexuality
and heterosexuality are states."
Sullivan is probably right in his description of popular
consciousness about homosexuality. Yet traditionalists may reject
the idea that homosexuality is an immutable given. At a June 1997
conference at Georgetown University, "Homosexuality and American
Public Life," conservative columnist Maggie Gallagher urged her
audience to stop thinking of homosexuality as an inevitable, key
feature of an individual's personality. Drawing, ironically, on the
work of queer theorists, Gallagher proposed instead that
homosexuality is a cultural convention - one that ought to be
challenged.
If Gallagher and her social constructionist sources are right,
the "We really exist" argument must be abandoned. But whether
they're right or not, there are good pragmatic reasons for
abandoning this argument. "We really exist" sounds dangerously like
"We just can't help it." And to this claim there is an obvious
response: "Well, alcoholics really exist, too. They can't help
their impulses. But we don't encourage them." Though the alcoholism
analogy is generally a bad one, it underscores the rhetorical
weakness of claiming "We really exist" in response to the
(rhetorically strong) PIB challenge.
A second response to the PIB challenge is to argue that as long
as PIB relationships are forbidden for heterosexuals, they should
be forbidden for homosexuals as well. Call this the "equal options"
argument. To put the argument more positively: we homosexuals are
not asking to engage in polygamy, incest, or bestiality. We are
simply asking to engage in monogamous, non-incestuous relationships
with people we love - just like heterosexuals do. As Jonathan Rauch
writes,
The hidden assumption of the argument which brackets gay
marriage with polygamous or incestuous marriage is that homosexuals
want the right to marry anyone they fall for. But, of course,
heterosexuals are currently denied that right. They cannot marry
their immediate family or all their sex partners. What homosexuals
are asking for is the right to marry, not anybody they love, but
somebody they love, which is not at all the same thing.
Once again, this argument is correct as far as it goes, but it
doesn't go far enough - at least not far enough to satisfy
proponents of the PIB argument. As they see it, permitting
homosexuality - even monogamous, non-incestuous, person-to-person
homosexuality - involves relaxing traditional sexual mores. The
fact that these mores prohibit constitutional homosexuals from
marrying somebody they love is no more troubling to traditionalists
than the fact that these mores prohibit constitutional pedophiles
from marrying somebody they love, since traditionalists believe
that there are good reasons for both prohibitions.
In short, both the "we exist" argument and the "equal options"
argument are vulnerable to counterexamples: alcoholics really
exist, and pedophiles are denied equal marital options. (Indeed,
traditionalists are fond of pointing out that, strictly speaking,
homosexuals do have "equal" options: they have the option of
marrying persons of the oppostite sex. Such traditionalists usually
remain silent on whether this option is a good idea for anyone
involved, but so it goes.)
There is, I think, a better response to the PIB argument, one
that has been suggested by both Sullivan and Rauch (whose
contributions to this debate I gratefully acknowledge). It is to
deny that arguments for homosexual relationships offer any real
support for PIB relationships. Why would proponents of the PIB
argument think otherwise? Perhaps they assume that our main
argument for homosexual relationships is that they feel good and we
want them. If that were our argument, it would indeed offer support
for PIB relationships. But that is not our argument: it is a straw
man.
A much better argument for homosexual relationships begins with
an analogy: homosexual relationships offer virtually all of the
benefits of sterile heterosexual relationships; thus, if we approve
of the latter, we should approve of the former as well. For
example, both heterosexual relationships and homosexual
relationships can unite people in a way that ordinary friendship
simply cannot. Both can have substantial practical benefits in
terms of the health, economic security, and social productivity of
the partners. Both can be important constituents of a flourishing
life. Yes, they feel good and we want them, but there's a lot more
to it than that. These similarities create a strong prima facie
case for treating homosexual and heterosexual relationships the
same - morally, socially, and politically.
"But wait," say the opponents. "Can't you make the same argument
for PIB relationships?" Not quite. It is true that you can use the
same form of argument for PIB relationships: PIB relationships have
benefits X, Y, and Z and no relevant drawbacks. But whether PIB
relationships do in fact have such benefits and lack such drawbacks
is an empirical matter, one that will not be settled by looking to
homosexual relationships.
To put my point more concretely: to observe that Tom and Dick
(and many others like them) flourish in homosexual relationships is
not to prove that Greg and Marcia would flourish in an incestuous
relationship, or that Mike, Carol, and Alice would flourish in a
polygamous relationship, or that Bobby and Tiger would flourish in
a bestial relationship. Whether they would or not is a separate
question - one that requires a whole new set of data.
Another way to indicate the logical distance between homosexual
relationships and PIB relationships is to point out that PIB
relationships can be either homosexual or heterosexual. Proponents
of the PIB challenge must therefore explain why they group PIB
relationships with homosexual relationships rather than
heterosexual ones. There's only one plausible reason: PIB and
homosexuality have traditionally been condemned. But (whoops!)
that's also true of interracial relationships, which
traditionalists (typically) no longer condemn. And (whoops again!)
they've just argued in a circle: the question at hand is why we
should group PIB relationships with homosexual relationships rather
than heterosexual ones. Saying that "we've always grouped them
together" doesn't answer the question, it begs it.
The question remains, of course, whether PIB relationships do,
on balance, have benefits sufficient to warrant their approval.
Answering that question requires far more data than I can marshal
here. It also requires careful attention to various distinctions:
distinctions between morality and public policy, distinctions
between the morally permissible and the morally ideal, and -
perhaps most important - distinctions between polygamy, incest, and
bestiality, which are as different from each other as they each are
from homosexuality. In what remains I offer some brief (and
admittedly inconclusive) observations about each of these
phenomena.
Polygamy provides perhaps the best opportunity among the three
for obtaining the requisite data: there have been and continue to
be polygamous societies. Most of these are in fact polygynous
(multiple-wife) societies, and most of them are sexist. Whether
egalitarian polygamous societies are possible is an open question.
Whether egalitarian polygamous relationships are possible (as
opposed to entire societies) is an easier question. Though I find
it difficult to imagine maintaining a relationship with several
spouses - having had enough trouble maintaining a relationship with
one - I have no doubt that at least some people flourish in
them.
This conclusion leaves open the question of whether such
relationships should be state-supported. As my acquaintance Josh
Goldfoot put it, "Marry your toaster if you like, but please don't
try to file a joint tax return with it." Whatever reasons the state
has for being in the marriage business (and this point is a matter
of considerable debate), these may or may not be good reasons for
the state to recognize multiple spouses.
Polygamy also provides the most troublesome case for the
traditionalists, since polygamy has Biblical support. True, the
Bible reports troublesome jealousies among the sons of various
wives, which perhaps should be taken as a lesson. But polygamy is
clearly a case where the religious right can't point to "God's
eternal law."
Incest, too, is common and expected in some societies -
typically in the form of rites of initiation. In our own society
incest typically results in various psychological difficulties,
difficulties that should at least give pause to the supporter of
incest. But one can easily construct a case that circumvents most
(if not all) of these difficulties: imagine two adult lesbian
sisters who privately engage in what they report to be a fulfilling
sexual relationship. Can I prove that such activity is wrong? No -
at least not off the top of my head. On the other hand, I don't
think it's incumbent upon me to do so. If there are good arguments
against such a relationship, they will remain unaffected by the
argument in favor of homosexuality. And if the only argument
traditionalists can offer against such a relationship is that
longstanding tradition prohibits it, so much the worse for
traditionalists. Again, that same argument is applicable to
interracial relationships, and history has revealed its
bankruptcy.
The bestiality analogy is the most irksome of the three, since
it reveals that the traditionalists are either woefully dishonest
or woefully dense. To compare a homosexual encounter - even a
so-called "casual" one - with humping a sheep is to ignore the
distinctively human capacities that sexual relationships can (and
usually do) engage. As such, it is to reduce sex to its purely
physical components - precisely the reduction that traditionalists
are fond of accusing us of. That noted, claiming that bestial
relationships are qualitatively different from human homosexual
relationships does not prove that bestial relationships are
immoral. Nor does the lack of mutual consent, since we generally
don't seek consent in our dealings with animals. No cow consented
to become my shoes, for example.
To be honest, I feel about bestiality much as I feel about sex
with inflatable dolls: I don't recommend making a habit out of it,
and it's not something I'd care to do myself, but it's hardly
worthy of serious moral attention. I feel much the same way about
watching infomercials: there are better ways to spend one's time,
to be sure, but there are also better things for concerned citizens
to worry about.
Why, then, are we even discussing bestiality? Perhaps it's
because traditionalists have run out of plausible-sounding
arguments against homosexuality, and so now they're grasping at
straws. And then there's the emotional factor: mentioning
homosexuality won't make people squeamish the way it once did, but
mentioning bestiality and incest will at least raise some eyebrows,
if not turn some stomachs. In short, the right wing knows that it's
losing its cultural war against homosexuality, and it's trying to
change the subject. We should steadfastly refuse to join them.