Lots of gay news sites and blogs, and not just the skanky ones, have recently been repeating rumors that a certain seventeen-year-old movie hunk is gay. Rolling Stone Magazine practically badgered the kid about his sexual orientation in an interview.
Am I the only person who thinks this is reprehensible? This is a kid we are talking about. Yes, he looks like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch campaign, but he is still a kid. He is probably living with his parents, he is dealing all of the drama that comes with being a star, and I am fairly certain he would rather not have to deal with this.
We are not talking about the famous middle-aged socialite son of a renowned designer who invites the press to cover every element of his life but inexplicably refuses to answer simple straightforward questions about whether or not he is gay, giving rise to the implication that being gay is a deep, dark, shameful thing (as a purely hypothetical example). We are talking about a seventeen-year-old.
To the actor's credit, he dealt with Rolling Stone's obnoxious inquires really well. There were no freaked-out denials or feigned indignation. He pretty much just ignored the questioner, which was a classier response than was deserved.
Gay people should know better than to indulge in this sort of thing. We all had to deal with coming out. We know how traumatic it is. If the actor is gay, this is just the kind of thing that makes coming out more difficult. Any gay blogger or journalist who tries to drive up traffic with this "story" should be ashamed.
19 Comments for “Not Cool”
posted by Elizabeth on
No idea what you’re talking about, but curious now. What’s with all of the pop “news” commentary these days?
posted by Mark on
I must say, it sounds like you (Mr. Chase) came out in a different era. I can’t say I find the questioning “reprehensible.” Coming out for most teenagers (somehow I doubt you came out as a teenager) is not necessarily a “traumatic” experience in 2009.
The press doesn’t seem to think it’s that a big of deal to ask someone their sexual orientation. It’s unfortunate, but understandable I suppose, that some people (yes, I’m pointing at you) still treat it as a “deep, dark, shameful thing.”
posted by Brian Chase on
For the record, I came out at 19 while I was a student at a historically Baptist college in the mid-80’s. I’ve also represented dozens of gay teenagers in lawsuits, so I’m not exactly unfamiliar with what they go through. For some it’s easier than for others. Responsible gay adults should give teenagers slack to come out when they are ready. I’m glad that coming out for teenagers isn’t as miserable as it once was, but it can still be tough, and it shouldn’t involve some jerk from Rolling Stone holding a tape recorder in your face.
posted by David Link on
This actor came up in conversation a couple of nights ago. I hadn’t really followed the story, but some very good friends of mine were offended, not by the gay rumors/talk/speculation, but by how he has been sexualized in the media at such a young age. And when I saw some of the photos and stories, it was really disconcerting.
THAT seems to me a big deal. Perhaps it’s progress that the media has now deigned to include young men in its relentless exploitation of youthful sexuality (while not letting up with girls, from Brooke Shields in the olden days to Miley Cyrus today). Maybe it’s just more noticeable to us now because they’re doing it to a boy, but it’s still a little eerie.
posted by Jorge on
No idea what you’re talking about either.
Are you suggesting that repeating or creating speculation that a teenager is gay is a bad and harmful thing?
I agree. It’s almost exactly like outing.
posted by Jimmy on
What’s really uncool is the fact that Rolling Stone has this kid on the cover when there is a great interview with Tom Petty in this issue. Petty should be on the cover. RS used to be a magazine about rock music, not some Tiger Beat wannabe.
posted by epilonious on
“Coming out for most teenagers […] is not necessarily a “traumatic” experience in 2009.”
That’s is rather ignorant and disingenuous.
I can understand the philosophy that coming out as a teenager *shouldn’t* be traumatic… but for most everyone teenager = high-school; a place where simple words like “slut” and “fag” are the deepest, darkest insults in the entire world. Meanwhile the entirety of media and discourse implies that being gay will only add to one’s feelings of awkwardness and discomfort.
Thus, it is completely understandable that someone might want to keep the wraps on who they are having-sex-with until they are no-longer dependent on people who might judge them for it. If you managed to come out in your teens relatively unscathed then hooray for you, but if you’re going to try and act like people who aren’t ready to come out are just making it more difficult for themselves or ‘deep, dark, and shameful’, then you’re completely ignoring the right for people to not blab about their sex life.
posted by Bobby on
“Am I the only person who thinks this is reprehensible?”
—Well, the evangelicals also agrees with you, of course, they don’t mind heterosexuals coming out as long as they wear a purity rings and claim to be saving themselves for marriage, aka “The Jonas Brothers.”
Funny how instead of giving credit to the Rolling Stones for asking a question most media ignores, you’re chastising them.
Tell me, was Miley Cyrus wrong for having a boyfriend before the age of 18? Why is it that breeder celebrities of any age get to talk about their boyfriends, girlfriends, women or men they like, what they look for in a mate yet gay celebrities are supposed to act like a bunch of eunuchs? If you’re talking about the guy from Twiglight, then yes, out the f-cker!
Because I have news for you, Brian, being gay is not a bad thing. For example, if somebody calls you gay you can no longer sue for defamation since cultural values have changed.
As for the kid inogring the questioner, I think he’s a coward. You ALWAYS give an answer. Ask Tiger Woods, now everyone thinks he’s a f-cked up druggie because he refuses to tell us why he crashed his car. If you’re not gay, then say you’re straight, if you are gay, then say you’re gay or lie. We know what happened to Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken, the closet does not work in the long run.
Besides, actors are public figures just like politicians, they make money from the public thus the public deserves to know everything about them.
Really Brian, how are gays going to achieve full equality if we keep treating our own as second-class people?
We don’t need don’t ask don’t tell for celebrities!
posted by Debrah on
“If you’re not gay, then say you’re straight, if you are gay, then say you’re gay…..”
*********************************
Yes, please. It will make life so much easier in the long run—for all concerned.
I deliberately left out the “or lie”.
“Why is it that breeder celebrities of any age get to talk about their boyfriends, girlfriends, women or men they like, what they look for in a mate yet gay celebrities are supposed to act like a bunch of eunuchs?”
*********************************
I don’t know where you’ve been on this one. There’s very little hesitancy on the part of gays I encounter to talk about themselves and their preferences.
In fact, it’s most often an open market navel-gazing orgy of discussion.
The only gay people who are not “out” today are those who have their own self-serving reasons. They want to have both worlds and avoid serious discussion on the issues.
But when the mood strikes them, they are a treasure trove of “equal rights for lesbian and gay citizens”.
Lastly, I do so detest the word “breeder”. It conjures up vague thoughts in others that the people using it want a vagina implanted on one of their butt cheeks.
Some people in this world are actually able to reproduce when they have wild, passionate sex.
It is what it is.
How did all you guys get here, by the way?
posted by Bobby on
“I deliberately left out the “or lie”.”
—Well, I just think it’s pretty insulting when a celebrity ignores a legitimate question, I also don’t like people who want to have it both ways. Everyone has a sexual orientation, be that gay, straight, bi, asexual or polyamorous, so why not just answer the question? I’d rather be lied to than be treated like I’m stupid.
“I don’t know where you’ve been on this one. There’s very little hesitancy on the part of gays I encounter to talk about themselves and their preferences.”
—May I ask what those gays do for a living? I think gays in the entertainment business often want to stay in the closet or be out without admiting it.
“The only gay people who are not “out” today are those who have their own self-serving reasons. They want to have both worlds and avoid serious discussion on the issues.”
—Exactly.
“Lastly, I do so detest the word “breeder”. It conjures up vague thoughts in others that the people using it want a vagina implanted on one of their butt cheeks.”
—I once had a straight roommate who used to tease me, so one day I called him a breeder adn you know what? He wasn’t offended. Besides, you know what words they use for us. I was watching “Hostel” and as soon as I heard Paxton and his friends use the f-g word I wanted him to be tortured and die. In fact, that word ruin the whole movie for me because normally I like to feel some sympathy for the victims in a horror movie, in this case I wasn’t able and their demise wasn’t satisfactory.
“Some people in this world are actually able to reproduce when they have wild, passionate sex.
It is what it is.”
—Well, they act like animals really, they get drunk, get passionate, forget to wear their condoms and then they want taxpayer-financed abortions or taxpayer-financed welfare.
In Latin America it’s even worst, in that macho culture the more women a man can impregnate the bigger macho he is.
If I wasn’t a libertarian, I would make vasectomies mandatory for anyone deemed unworthy of breeding. Or use the Singapoorean approach of offering the worthy money to breed and the unworthy money to be sterilized. The program is optional, nobody’s forced to do anything they don’t want, but this pseudo-eugenic policy has created one of the strongest economies in the world.
Besides, I am pissed off that Lynnette from Desperate Housewives is having another baby. Why can’t she have an abortion? She already has too many kids and her husband is in college studying Chinese. Seriously, that bastard of a husband should have gotten a vasectomy long ago. Now this poor woman just lost her job and good luck finding another employer that will hire a pregnant woman, good luck with that.
See why they deserve to be called breeders? That’s all they do.
posted by GMRinSAN on
Using the pronoun “they”, as in “That’s all they do” to describe approximately 90% of humanity is possibly the broadest brush conceivable. This was sarcasm, right?
posted by Bobby on
“Using the pronoun “they”, as in “That’s all they do” to describe approximately 90% of humanity is possibly the broadest brush conceivable. This was sarcasm, right?”
—It was a generalization, obviously, not all of them do the same thing. My mother planned her pregnancy and was married to my father, so some people do make plans instead of screwing up and expecting society to pick up the tab.
People who know me understand that my generalization and exagerations are just part of how I debate.
posted by Mark on
“For the record, I came out at 19 while I was a student at a historically Baptist college in the mid-80’s. I’ve also represented dozens of gay teenagers in lawsuits, so I’m not exactly unfamiliar with what they go through.”
Perhaps you have a slightly skewed sample. Just sayin’.
posted by Mark on
“Coming out for most teenagers […] is not necessarily a “traumatic” experience in 2009.”
>>That’s is rather ignorant and disingenuous.
I wouldn’t say I’m ignorant about the difficulties of coming out. I grew up gay and Mormon in Utah in the nineties. But I also know that Utah is not the rest of the country and the nineties aren’t today.
Read this article for some perspective: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/27/magazine/27out-t.html
Note that I did qualify my statement with “most” and “not necessarily.” And for the record I did not say that people that are not ready to come out are making it “deep, dark and shameful.” I said that the author of this post treats being gay as something “deep, dark and shameful” by finding the questioning of young public figure’s sexuality as something “reprehensible.”
Yes, there is still bigotry toward gays in this country and it may be prudent at times to conceal one’s sexuality, but I certainly don’t think we should be that worried over a “certain seventeen-year-old movie hunk.” Something tells me he’ll be just fine, and I’m actually heartened to see the media treat the topic as the bubblegum fluff that it is.
posted by Throbert McGee on
My mother planned her pregnancy and was married to my father, so some people do make plans instead of screwing up and expecting society to pick up the tab.
Wait, are we talking about pregnancies, or HIV infections? (“MSM” transmissions make up about 60% of new cases each year, according to the CDC.)
posted by Rob on
Bobby:
We know what happened to Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken, the closet does not work in the long run.
I don’t. What happened to them?
posted by Debrah on
“I also don’t like people who want to have it both ways.”
***********************
This is the major issue. One’s sexual orientation takes a back seat to the self-serving methods of the individual……
……and wanting to preen and purr about “rights for gay and lesbian citizens” within safe confines which are in their total control.
Very cowardly. They should come out with the truth or shut up on all fronts.
“May I ask what those gays do for a living? I think gays in the entertainment business often want to stay in the closet or be out without admitting it.”
***********************
Bobby, I live in a “liberal heaven” where a gay man was just elected mayor. And that is not big news because anyone who is very far left can get elected. The guy is worthless and barely scraped out a win. If he had been a better candidate, being gay and ultra-Liberal would have given him a landslide. This new mayor isn’t even a landowner, but his partner supposedly owns property. It’s very odd to be elected to an office and be in a position to direct others’ tax dollars when you have never fully participated in that process.
And the taxes here rival NYC. Only the affluent will abide such throwaway spending and keep electing the nuts who live off the public dole and keep upping taxes.
I stand by what I said earlier. Only those who want it both ways do not admit they’re gay. And who would give an enormous eff, except for the way the professional arena can be contaminated by their personal agendas.
This is not my mother’s generation where men like Rock Hudson needed to stay in the closet so their careers wouldn’t suffer at the box office. It’s pure cowardice and a desire not to be questioned.
We’re all questioned about our choices in life.
“In Latin America it’s even (worse), in that macho culture the more women a man can impregnate the bigger macho he is.”
***********************
I have no negative feelings toward any group.
I’ve lived in a few countries around the globe.
No xenophobe, I.
Yo hablo espanol …….and all that.
However, one would have to be completely disingenuous to pretend that the state of illegal immigration from south of the border is not having very negative effects on this country.
We are bleeding from the billions spent on those who are not even citizens while Americans are in need and in a deep recession.
And yes, it is not hyperbole to admit that many “breed” constantly. Just ask any REIT owner or investor what happens to upscale properties when turned into virtual barrios.
And Bobby, I wasn’t insulted by the use of the word “breeder”. Say what you wish. I do.
I just think it’s a creepy word because gay men use it on men when they’re “doing it”.
Like “rimming”, it’s just creepy.
And to add to Throbert’s point, hepatitis and gonorrhea of the larynx are the result of those practices.
And some wonder why people cringe when grown men watch and promote the sites with young boys engaging in these methods……painting it all as some glorious way of lovemaking?
Please.
posted by Bobby on
We know what happened to Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken, the closet does not work in the long run.
I don’t. What happened to them?
—-Well, Ricky Martin went from having hit records and being a succesful artist into somebody nobody cares about, like Vanilla Ice. The same happened with Clay Aiken, he went from hot American Idol finalist into closet case and then into father. If they had come out earlier the gays and the women would have supported them. Moving on…
“We are bleeding from the billions spent on those who are not even citizens while Americans are in need and in a deep recession.”
—You’re right except that the recession is slowing immigration dramatically. A lot of illegals are going back home or simply not coming. I know an immigration attorney and she tells me that now her clients cases are moving faster. You see, American immigration is very inneficient unless you get married, if you don’t get married, the process can be excrutiatingly slow.
I’m also not xenophobic, I lived for many years in Venezuela so I have been exposed to different cultures. There are just some cultural aspects I hate, like machismo.
“I just think it’s a creepy word because gay men use it on men when they’re “doing it”.”
—Oh, like the barebackers who say “looking for a hole too breed?” I see what you mean.
“Like “rimming”, it’s just creepy.
And to add to Throbert’s point, hepatitis and gonorrhea of the larynx are the result of those practices.”
—There are heterosexuals who do that stuff as well, I do find it creepy although I’m very open minded about sex between consenting adults.
“And some wonder why people cringe when grown men watch and promote the sites with young boys engaging in these methods……painting it all as some glorious way of lovemaking?”
—If you’re talking about the twink sites remember those boys are 18 to 25, so they’re completely legal. I don’t see why that’s so controversial when our arm forces allow 17 year olds to join. Think about it, they’re not old enough to elect their commander in chief yet they’re old enough to serve under him, does that make sense to you? It doesn’t to me.
When it comes to judging my gay community I like to look at the straight community first. Hetros aren’t that different from us, look at Hugh Heffner, the man is 85 and he still sleeps with 25 year old girls. Some high-powered hetro executives will pay women to urinate on them, or might be completely straight but enjoy being penetrated by a woman wearing a dildo.
The difference is that hetros don’t have Folsom Street Fairs, although they do have the Adult Entertainment Convention in Las Vegas, Miami, and other places. There hetro perverts from around the world stand in line to have their pictures taken next to women and transexual females.
Finally, it’s a lot cheaper for a public health clinic to treat an outbreak of syphilis than the cost of unwanted children being born and being raised by the state. Freakanomics argues that the reason the crime rate went down in the 80s and 90s was becaus of all the abortions poor women had in the 70s.
posted by Kuba on
t Hugh Heffner, the man is 85 and he still sleeps with 25 year old girls is quite a point, but if we see this in the larger context its clear that there is a potential issue on both sides, are then 17 yr old boys too young to join the rimming community ? or the army ?