I have a confession to make. I'm getting ever so slightly tired of the reaction to Prop. 8.
I know I shouldn't. I know that the loss in California is terrible, and far-reaching, and deserving of attention. We had marriage, and voters took it away. A majority took away minority rights in a close election. That sucks.
I also know that we should do everything possible to capitalize on the outrage gays and their supporters are feeling right now, organizing marches and coming out to their friends and family and whatnot. The last thing I'd want to do is curb their enthusiasm.
And if I follow any of the above with a "but…," it's going to look like I don't really mean it-even though I do. What happened in California really sucks.
But…
It's important, as always, to maintain some perspective.
Gay and lesbian Californians will go back to having virtually all the statewide legal incidents of marriage via domestic-partnership legislation. That's not quite as good as marriage, but it's better than what most of the rest of us have.
Here in Michigan, not only do we lack domestic-partner legislation, our constitution bans it. And our attorney general interprets that ban as prohibiting public employers from offering health-insurance benefits to same-sex partners. We had them, and voters took them away.
So while California may have been the first state to take marriage away from gays, it's hardly the first to take rights away from gays-or the most significant in terms of tangible benefits.
This past election day, Florida passed a ban similar to Michigan's, and thus much worse than California's Prop. 8. Not only did it pass, it passed with a whopping 62 percent of the vote. With all the fuss over California, you may not have heard about it.
Arizona passed a ban that was limited to marriage, and thus less obnoxious than Florida's and Michigan's (and many others). But Arizona's ban appeared on the ballot only because of a dishonest last-minute parliamentary maneuver-another story you should have heard about, but probably didn't.
And for what may be the worst bit of gay election-day news, consider Arkansas, which passed a ban on unmarried persons serving as adoptive or foster parents. That ban was specifically targeted to fight "the gay agenda," but what it means is that thousands of children who could have stable loving homes will instead languish in state care.
Of course, we could broaden our focus even further, and note that in some parts of the world, being gay is still grounds for arrest, imprisonment, and even execution. In that light, even Arkansas looks downright welcoming.
None of this should make us any less outraged about what happened in California. I repeat: what happened in California sucks.
But I hope the people getting outraged about California will take a moment to look around at the rest of the country-and the world-and get even more outraged. Because what happened in California is nothing new.
For some years I've noticed a kind of myopia from some quarters of the GLBT community. They tell me: "We've won this war, John-gayness is a largely a non-issue. Sure, there are some stragglers in the South and the Midwest, but they'll catch up soon enough. In the meantime, trying to engage them just dignifies their bigotry. It's time for you to accept that we're living in a post-gay society."
Prop. 8 stung so much, in part, because it proves that we are not there yet.
This myopia is not limited to California, or even the coasts, though it does show up more there. It exists anywhere that liberals have the luxury of spending their time mostly around other liberals. (I write this as a liberal philosophy professor in an urban center, so I'm hardly immune to the phenomenon myself.)
And so when Sally "Gays are a bigger threat than terrorists" Kern gets re-elected by a 16-point margin in Oklahoma, these liberals look on with a mix of perplexity, smugness, and pity. That is, if they look on at all. (In case you missed it, Kern's comfortable re-election happened on November 4, too.)
Of course, the other side has its own brand of myopia, as we all continue to become more polarized and isolated.
What's the solution? As I've said over and over again-in columns, in speeches, in any forum available-we need to keep talking to each other. We need to engage our opponents. We need to keep making the case.
If there's a silver lining to this Prop. 8 defeat, it's the wake-up call that reminds us that we're not there yet.
12 Comments for “Far from the Finish Line”
posted by Kevin on
Back when Sally Kern’s “terrorists” comments were big news, I made the prediction on here in the comments section of a related post that the national outrage about it guaranteed Kern’s reelection. I was excoriated for that, but proven right. The local backlash against the national backlash will cause gays like me here in Oklahoma even more pain with Kern now in a position of greater power. In fact, there are local reports she is teaming up with the Oklahoma City Mayor to get him elected as Governor in 2 years on an anti-gay platform, and flip that office from Democratic to Republican. The GOP majority is already looking at ways to make an anti-gay adoption measure similar to the one Arkansas just passed as the major 2010 initiative to get out the vote. We are badly outnumbered and outmanned here, so it will pass very easily, and it will yet again happen with national gay organizations and individuals nowhere to be found. And there will be no national protests. So I’m not losing any sleep for California gays who didn’t have their act together and ran a terribly mismanaged campaign against prop 8.
posted by Attmay on
If gays were worse than terrorists, Sally Kern would not be alive today. Typical heterosexual.
posted by Bobby on
What Kern does is horrible, but I’ve seen the way people who don’t believe in affirmative action and diversity are demonized by the media. The Obama election marks a turning point because now every diversity nazi wants to cram their views down our throats. In my own industry, which voted overwhelmingly for Obama, they want to force us to hire more minorities which means we would have to hire based on race instead of talent. Oklahomans are simply trying to prevent leftwing contamination from invading their state, it’s too bad gays have to get in the crossfire, but since gays are associated with left-wingnism, we’re screwed. Either way, Kern will self-destruct if she can’t deliver jobs, lower taxes, and improve Oklahoma. Homophobia without results doesn’t work.
posted by Attmay on
We shouldn’t have to choose between tolerance of gays and sound fiscal policy.
posted by Jennifer on
Don’t feel bad, I’m from California and even I’m getting tired of it–a lot of us are. It doesn’t negate anything that’s happened, it doesn’t mean we have any less reason to be upset or that we’re giving in. This is just going to be a really long haul and it’s disappointing to see how far we still have to go.
Like you, the more I think about it, the more I think what happened Arkansas is really the greater tragedy of Election ’08. It’s time for a little perspective on the matter and I think (I hope) that we’re getting there.
The initial response, the demonstrations, the protests, were a great awakening for a lot of us who have not been politically active/visible in LGBT politics and a chance to get our feet wet and network, but now it’s time to settle in and continue the long march to equality.
Thanks for the post.
posted by Attmay on
Arkansas should lose federal funding for any public works project (roads, water, etc.) for banning gay adoption. So should all states that have anti-gay laws on the books.
posted by Stephen on
You shouldn’t be getting tired of this at all.
The continued response to Prop 8 is the best thing to happen to the Gay community since the White Night riots. It has renewed a sense of threat that inspires activism against the government — something that had become missing for younger generations.
Sure, the loss in California pales compared to the lack of gains in Michigan, but California leads the nation in such things. The reaction against Prop 8 will make it’s way to Michigan, and every other state in the Union, and it will turn, is turning, in our favor.
The Gay community should probably be sending the clueless Mormons a thank you card; perhaps another to the Becket Fund.
posted by Attmay on
Dear Mormons,
Thank you for taking away marriage rights for thousands of couples and making their children illegitimate. You have my utmost gratitude for making it so that I am unable to marry my boyfriend.
Love and kisses, etc.
posted by Carl on
“What?s the solution? As I?ve said over and over again?in columns, in speeches, in any forum available?we need to keep talking to each other. We need to engage our opponents. We need to keep making the case. ”
That’s much easier said than done. There are many, many people who are opposed to gay rights who are very polite and friendly to our faces. Why wouldn’t they be? They believe all we have to do is stop being gay. It’s easy for them. They can be polite to us, and then go back to donating to take away our rights, to voting to take away our rights.
There’s often an idea out there that the gay community would have an easier time if only we could stop doing this or stop doing that (the latest being if we stop caring about Prop 8). There needs to be more of a focus on exactly what that is.
How do we defeat ballot measures? How do we stop state legislatures which tend to strip away rights for gays for political gain or for fear of the far right?
Having long conversations or going kumbaya won’t do anything to dissuade those who have the most power against us. All that does is continue to put us in situations where any negative action by any homosexual is used against us all. Or where protests against the Mormon Church lead to ad campaigns blasting gays.
posted by Attmay on
My suggestion (as I said before) would be to demand that the President order federal funds for public projects withheld unless said laws are defeated/repealed. It’s how the national drinking age was raised to 21.
Gays must take absolute power over all aspects of society.
posted by MadeMark on
Among the reasons Prop 8 has garnered nearly all the attention is because it took away a right that the CA supreme court declared existed, and 18,000 couples got married. I’m not a constitutional scholar, but I think the court should have stayed it until the election, or determined the validity of Prop 8 before the election. I know they don’t do that, but yanking gay couples around like yo-yos (now you marry! now you don’t!) deserved more consideration from the court. I agree that the FL amendment is worse. I feel terrible for the couples, gay and straight (an estimated 400,000 people) who may well find their domestic partnerships stripped. Lastly, I’m 50 years old. I’ve quite enjoyed watching the young ones up in arms. It’s their turn, their generation. Let them do as they are compelled to do, make their own mistakes, and tell the world they’re tired of being crapped on. It will die down, and hopefully the energy will be focused in ways that can accomplish new things. For some it’s better to go down fighting with your dignity intact than to sell your soul for ‘tolerance.’
posted by Drew on
The passage of Proposition 8 is proof the GLBT assume the Democrat Party and liberals are not homophobic. It is still out there folks!