First published, in slightly different form, December 2, 2004, in Bay Windows.
Pull yourself together, we have work to do. Despite the recent upheaval at the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and the drubbing that same-sex marriage received at the polls in November, we need to prepare for new battles. Here are some suggestions for charting the course ahead.
Protect our hard-won gains.
Republican Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania and others want to
undo four decades of court victories for privacy rights, from
contraception to abortion to sodomy. The public policy question is
not how one views those things morally, but whether the state
should be able to intervene. While our allies in the Senate are
defending our privacy rights against theocratic judicial nominees,
talk to your family and friends, write a letter to the editor - and
remember our allies the next time they run.
Defend the marriage equality beachhead in
Massachusetts.
The U.S. Supreme Court's decision not to hear a challenge to the
Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Council's Goodridge ruling,
which required state recognition of gay marriages, is good news.
The Bay State's experiment can be a powerful example, as thousands
of same-sex couples embrace a legal commitment in a state with the
lowest divorce rate in the country. So save some year-end money for
MassEquality.
Take the long view.
The passage of all 11 anti-gay state amendments is not a sign that
we should give up, but a reminder that our fight for equal marriage
rights will take a long time. Other priorities will have their
adherents, such as anti-discrimination and hate crime laws, which
is fine. The fight against military discrimination that weakens our
national defense cannot be set aside. But the fight for gay
families is fundamental, and must continue.
The focus in each state will differ depending on the situation. In some states, civil unions are more feasible. In others, legal challenges to the denial of couples' contracting rights are needed. In deepest red state territory, basic organizing is still needed. Work your support networks. Statewide groups can consult one another via the Equality Federation. Litigants can consult Lambda Legal and the ACLU.
Discourage "Lone Ranger" lawsuits.
An ill-advised case in Arizona, in which plaintiffs (a Phoenix gay
couple denied a marriage license) refused to take advice from gay
legal experts, is a cautionary tale for other couples whose hearts
are ruling their heads. It makes little sense to vent your outrage
at injustice through a lawyer if the results are likely to be even
worse. (In the Phoenix case, the Arizona Court of Appeals found
that there is no right to marry a same-sex partner under the state
or federal constitution.)
Every case is not a good test case, and bad rulings only erect new barriers. Urge your friends to take a strategic view and to cooperate rather than charging off on their own. One useful thing we can all do is tell our stories.
Learn to criticize without adopting a scornful
tone.
Insults do not substitute for evidence and argument, whether we are
admonishing our allies or trying to persuade new voters. It is hard
to remain civil when our passions are involved, but injecting
poison into our discussions is a recipe for defeat. We can only win
new supporters by reaching out to people who do not already agree
with us. This requires addressing their perspectives and connecting
with them as human beings.
Stop the partisan double standards.
After the election, Human Rights Campaign Executive Director Cheryl
Jacques renewed her snub of moderate Republican Senator Arlen
Specter for his procedural vote to send the Federal Marriage
Amendment to the Senate floor, even though he publicly stated that
he would vote against it on the substance. Yet HRC did not
similarly reject Democrat John Kerry, who supports putting
discrimination into the Massachusetts and other state
constitutions. This blatant double standard will not make HRC's job
any easier in the 109th Congress. With Jacques out, HRC can improve
its credibility as a fair-minded advocate by choosing a more savvy
and less partisan new leader.
Drop the cheap slams against black-tie
dinners.
We will need a lot more fundraisers before we are done. If you know
a better way to raise money, do it. If you know a more deserving
organization, support it.
Stand up for your own values.
Given the harm that the radical right is doing in the name of
faith, flag, and family, it is inexcusable that we have let them
claim the rhetorical high ground on these issues for so long. If
you want to see how a winning Democrat talks about these issues,
read Barack Obama. But even he needs to get some letters from gay
families.
Setbacks notwithstanding, the tide of history remains with us, because our cause is just and our country is America. But we must keep our oars in the water.