Originally published January 28, 2004, in the Chicago Free Press.
So there are two questions many lesbians have been asking for the past couple of weeks:
- "What do you think of The L Word ?" and
- "Which woman turns you on?"
The answer to the first question is usually either "I love it" or "It's shallow but I watch it anyway."
The second question, however, seems to divide lesbians into three camps.
Shane, the "love-'em and leave-'em" bad girl played by Katherine Moenning either inspires intense lust or absolute hate. She seems to be favored by lesbians seeking danger.
Dana, the closeted tennis pro (Erin Daniels), is winning over sportsdykes. And Marina (Karina Lombard), the seducer of the innocent, straight Jenny (Mia Kirshner), is favored by - OK, I'm not sure who she's favored by. I just know that every time I gush over her, someone else does, too.
Think what this means. Someday all we'll need to do to find out if we're compatible with someone new is ask them which woman they like on The L Word and pray we're a fit. We could even gloss over the awkward pick-up-line chatter. Imagine walking into a coffee shop, seeing a cute girl, straightening your baseball cap and then querying, "Dana?"
If she responds, "Oh, I love her" you stay and chat.
If she shakes her head sadly and replies, "Shane," you know to move on-before you've slept with her and adopted two of her cats.
The L Word could change how we interact forever.
It's already had an impact. I've ever seen this much speculation and talk about lesbians in the mainstream press. Queer Eye is still the show that more straight folks are familiar with but I'm sure The L Word will develop a following. The straight women who've seen it with me enjoyed it.Also, I've seen three episodes. (I know you've only seen two. I have two words for you: review copies. I'm trying to keep myself from stealing a peek at the Episode Four but it's very, very hard).
This is what I have to say: Every week gets better.
No, there isn't much diverse representation. The L Word lesbians are all thin and femme, which might represent the girls in Los Angeles but certainly only applies to a small segment in Chicago.
And that first week it felt like we were watching lesbian porn designed for a straight audience. There was plenty of femme-on-femme lesbian sex for the men (there was even a potential three-way with a guy) and enough heterosexual sex thrown in to keep straight women happy.
It's not that lesbians didn't enjoy the sex. And it's good for a straight audience to see lesbians having good sex within the context of a relationship. It's just that the sex didn't seem meant for us and in a show about lesbians that was really disappointing.
But by Episode Two the show really is all about the characters. There's less forced novelty around the idea of being lesbians. Talk about "nipple confidence" and "vagina revitalization" has faded away. Instead The L Word focuses in on just a few stories, like any good ensemble show.
This leads me to think that there are many, many good things about The L Word. It helps a straight audience view our lives as ordinary, filled with similar heartbreaks and joys. It makes us seem cool and exotic instead of flannel-wearing and angry. It introduces the in-jokes of our community to the outside world-for example, gaydar, the U-Haul factor and the idea that lesbians date all their friends.
All this helps straight, cable-watching America understand us and understanding leads to a decrease in fear. Hopefully that decrease in fear will eventually lead to acceptance.
And there are other goods. The L Word is basically a primer for women who are just coming out. It does a pretty good job of explaining how we interact and why. Plus it's reassuring to those of us who've been out for a long time to see representations of ourselves that are chic instead of sad.
But the best thing about The L Word is that, so far, no one has been punished for being a lesbian - though Dana, the tennis pro seeking endorsements, may run into some trouble. Clearly we have made a quantum leap forward from the days of The Well of Loneliness and The Children's Hour.
No, wait.
The best thing about The L Word is that there are enough lesbians on the show to help straight people see that we're individuals. And to remind ourselves that even though we may have many things in common we should not stuff ourselves into stereotypical boxes because we're not actually all the same.
After all, there are Shane girls and there are Mariana girls.