Originally appeared Jan. 2, 2002, in the Chicago Free Press.
Recently Log Cabin Republican leader Rich Tafel posted an editorial commentary at his Liberty Education Forum website criticizing the "victimization" rhetoric employed at times by gay activists.
Some gay writers and leaders, he said, seemed to be arguing that our lives as gays as getting worse and worse while in reality gays are gaining greater acceptance.
"In the end, gay politics became dominated by a 'virtual victimization,' with our own society full of enemies oppressing us. Obscured by this paradigm was the reality that, while we still have barriers to clear, life for gay Americans has never been better," Tafel wrote.
To replace this inaccurate "virtual victimization" paradigm which Tafel linked with identity politics, Tafel urged a post-Sept. 11 paradigm of "United We Stand" in which gays present themselves as fellow citizens helping in the struggle against a far more menacing common opponent. Perhaps Tafel's approach could be described simply as "Accentuate the positive."
Tafel was promptly criticized by other activists and writers for mischaracterizing their arguments ("We don't constantly claim we are victims"), or ignoring the hostility gays encounter ("We are too victims"), or just trying to please Republican officials ("He's giving them an excuse to ignore our grievances").
However that may be, the important question to ask about any activist approach, if we are to keep our integrity and our claims are not mere propaganda, is: Is it authentic? That is, does it draw accurately from our experience and whatever facts we can find?
This past November, the Kaiser Family Foundation released two surveys about gay issues, one of which directly addressed these issues. It asked some 400 gays, lesbians, and bisexuals about their experience of prejudice and view on gay progress.
As it turned out, more than three quarters (76 percent) of gays, lesbians and bisexuals said there is more acceptance of gays and lesbians today compared to a few years ago. Most are comfortably "out" to heterosexual friends (93 percent), family members (84 percent), co-workers (72 percent) and neighbors 66 percent).
Gays and lesbians also felt in control of their lives rather than reacting passively to the world. Many said they had made important decision based on being gay such as where to live (62 percent), what doctor to choose (54 percent) or whether to take a particular job (30 percent).
Although the vast majority (80 percent) think there is "a lot" of prejudice and discrimination against gays and lesbians, less than one quarter (23 percent) said they personally had experienced "a lot" of discrimination. (Three quarters said they had experienced some.)