First published in the American University Eagle on February 16, 2009
I am a gay Republican. I am not "self-hating." I am not confused.
I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to think of myself in terms of traits other than simply my sexual orientation. I believe that my attraction to the same sex should have no bearing to my thoughts on tax policy, trade, foreign affairs or abortion. I believe that my sexuality is merely an incidental part of my life and should not be a major factor in my decision-making.
I am aware that there is a rich tradition of intellectualism, secularism and equality within the Republican Party outside of the Religious Right. I am aware that Hillary Clinton and Dick Cheney hold the same positions on gay rights. I am aware that Bill Clinton signed into law the last major anti-gay piece of legislation passed by Congress - the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. I am self-respecting enough to know that the words of the Democrats on gay rights are no substitute for their lack of action.
I believe that the virtues of classical liberalism - individualism, self-reliance and a rejection of cultural relativism - help gay men, just as they do all of mankind and are better exemplified by the Republican Party than by the Democratic Party. I am furthermore woefully confused by gay men's ambivalence toward radical Islam, which holds them in a particularly low esteem.
I believe that the gay subculture is destructive. I am not completely sure why a person should be "proud" of his sexuality, which is not an accomplishment. I am confused by the discord between a group of people who insist that they're just like everyone else on one hand and then on the other refuse to assimilate into mainstream society.
I am unable to relate to the faction of gay men who revolve their lives around their sexuality: their neighborhood is gay, their friends are gay, their music and movies are gay, their academic interests are gay, the stores that they frequent are gay - their lives are gay. I am not interested, though, in living my life as a gay man, but simply as a man. I envision a future in which a person's sexual orientation will be an afterthought. I do not in any way whatsoever see the Democratic Party furthering that.
I have been discriminated against more by Democrats than by Republicans. I have been shunned and mocked by Democrats, many of whom will not accept me as a gay man unless I fit into their neatly packaged view of what a gay man is "supposed" to be. I have yet to encounter, on the other hand, a Republican who has rejected my presence in the party, shunned me on a personal level or refused to engage me on the issues.
I have come to understand on a very personal basis that the stereotypes and caricatures of the parties are no substitute for experiencing their members up close. I see that the "tolerance" and "compassion" of the left only extend as far as a person is willing to further their ideological worldview.
I am not Alex Knepper, the gay man. I am Alex Knepper, a man who just so happens to be gay. I believe that my chosen virtues and the actions that I take, not my unchosen sexual orientation, defines me as a person. I am a man who chooses to think for himself and shape his life on his own terms.
I don't think that makes me so radical.
{ 133 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
Republican? I thought this was the Independent Gay Forum. Oh well…
Originalist judges? You mean ones like John T. Raulston, who found John Scaopes guilty and started each trial with a prayer? Give me a break.
I agree with you Alex that my orientation is something that is a unchosen part of me, but I disagree with many of your assumptions. First, I don’t care about gay subculture at all (and I suspect that only a small percentage do). I don’t listen to gay music (unless you consider punk to be gay music) or watch films generally made for only the gay community. I do not have many gay friends or attend gay functions. I am proud of how I dealt with coming out, but I do not march in pride parades. However, you seem to be forcing this aspect of yourself into a small corner. The fact that you write a manifesto stating how unimportant it is shows me it is important to you–and the fact that this is an independent gay forum shows me that you are either an idiot or deluded. No matter how unimportant it may seem, your choice of date and your circle of friends would be determined by this aspect. Your family obviously sees you as gay, so that would also create a certain situation in your life. Pride is coming in that you are saying it means nothing, but your declaration is everything. Being proud to be gay is the same thing as being proud to be an American, Irish nationality, etc. Those who came before have helped you to live a free life, and that is where pride comes from. If you can’t see that, you are selfish. I don’t wear shirts or hang rainbow flags, but I recognize the struggle for gay rights.
I did my taxes yesterday, and I would have a bigger pay check if my spouse of 16 years was included. My mother-in-law died recently, but I could not take part in the decision making because I was not married legally. There are all kinds of things that are policy related that affect my life as a gay person. I don’t go around saying I am gay, gay, gay, but everyone at work and in my life knows, and I can’t escape it. Sure, you can be a poser and claim that being gay is a small brick in the whole of your wall, but you know that is not true. The fact that you are writing this article tells me that it is not true. You may wish it to be true, but society deems otherwise. It strikes me that the article is trying to make others of political persuasion believe something about you on the surface that is not true. Realize, like with Andrew Sullivan, that the conservative political machine will spit you out as soon as they perceive you are not one of them.
BTW, I am as libertarian as one can get, so do not assume I am a democrat.
“Alex, would those be the same judges that didn’t think that black people were actually, you know, PEOPLE?”
No, they would be the ones who follow the letter of the Constitution, which makes no differentiation between whites and blacks.
“The fact that you write a manifesto stating how unimportant it is shows me it is important to you–and the fact that this is an independent gay forum shows me that you are either an idiot or deluded.”
More than one person has said this to me, both here and elsewhere, and it’s completely silly. I’m speaking of an ideal; the IGF shouldn’t have to exist. It does, though, because there are people claiming to speak for me who actually don’t.
“So it’s my old roommate’s fault he got HIV from a relationship that was supposed to be honest and monogamous?”
No, and that’s a very tragic situation, but not one that reflects the reason that most people out there have HIV.
And it certainly doesn’t mean that the government should get involved in it.
This is all quite silly. The correct answer to the why one is a gay Republican question is to answer why you’re gay. Piss off the impudents. The interaction between being Republican and being gay is quite fascinating, but ultimately distracting and harmful to the cause of diversity.
However being a Republican is on its own a completely morally neutral trait that belongs squarely in the black morass of partisan politics. Which is lots of fun but not something to be taken seriously.
I find it difficult to believe that in this country of otherwise independent-minded and intelligent people, not the least of which are in this forum, there are people who believe it a mortal sin to approve of waterboarding, and who believe it is actually reasonable to try to discredit Republicans by pointing to the upholding of slavery in the courts. This kind of stubborn outrage and off-topic hysteria is no substitute for an honest exchange of and tolerance of diverse ideas. It belongs right up there with James Dobson’s hysterics over teaching about gay people in public schools, and Ann Coulter’s obsession with graphically identifying gay sex acts in her books.
I also think it should be noted that there *is* a two-party system in this country which strongly discourages people from actually registering for any party except Democrat or Republican.
Most people in this country seem to be quite stable around the proposition that there are millions of people in this country who actually are Republicans. This is perfectly natural.
I think the people who are upset that there actually are such things as Republicans in this country and among the gay community should get over it quickly, because chances are Obama’s going to flop and we’ll have another two-termer Republican in the White House.
I am a confirmed non-voter who wouldn’t vote for either party if you paid me (okay, if you paid me enough I might consider it provided I was pretty sure my vote wouldn’t actually elect anyone). I started life as Republican but was cured of that affliction long ago. But my default preferences were that the Republicans would win. These days the Republicans couldn’t lose badly enough to satisfy me. I wish to see them obliterated off the face of the political map. There is nothing about them that is remotely liberal in the classical sense of the word. They are BAD on economics, BAD on social freedom, BAD on foreign policy.
From what I can see even their motives are bad. And you can’t even debate them since they are faith-addicts who think that some assertion that a deity tells them what to means they don’t have to justify their positions with evidence or logic. All they do is assert that God wants policy X and policy X is almost always pro Big Government. Sure the Democrats are a Big Gov lot. But Republicans today are a Massively Big and Malicious Government lot. I’d rather the Democrats won office at this point in time.
Until the Republicans chuck out the American Taliban they can count on my total animosity.
Until the Republicans chuck out the American Taliban they can count on my total animosity.
They already have, CLS, because they’ve pretty much figured out you’ll support and endorse as “pro-gay” anything that comes from an Obama Party member, regardless of what it is or does or endorses or says. Add to that the fact that the vast majority of gays are screaming publicly, quote, “the Republican party wants you — AS A GAY MAN — to cease to exist. Period. End of argument. Nothing else matters. They want you gone. Dead. Erased from the face of the earth.”
In other words, you’ve got people who fully support marriage bans, workplace discrimination, and calling gays “filthy” as long as they have the right party affiliation, and who are claiming that the Republican Party’s sole goal is genocide of gays.
You’re not rational people. You whine and scream about “hate crimes” even as you hang Sarah Palin in effigy. You shriek about “workplace discrimination” even as you blockade and threaten businesses to demand that people who make political donations you don’t like be fired. You scream about marriage equality even as you give donations and endorsements to people who support the FMA and state constitutional amendments banning gay marriage.
What on earth has the gay community done that would make them in the least worthwhile for Republicans to support? Sheesh, as the Donald Hitchcock case showed, even the Dems’ love for you is based solely on your ability to shut up and hand over your wallet, and vanishes instantly the minute you talk back.
“What on earth has the gay community done that would make them in the least worthwhile for Republicans to support?”
Uh… being citizens???
I am perplexed by the idea that the government should not involve itself with HIV/AIDS.
I seem to remember that even the Bush administration considered it a national security issue. That is, if I’m not mistaken, one of Alex’s “issues”.
Does the hands-off approach you advocate apply to all other public health issues, as well? Or is it just the sex-related ones? Gay-related ones? Contraceptive-related ones? (It’s so hard these days to keep track of the various reasons the different factions of the GOP give for sticking their heads up their… ooops, I meant in the sand.)
There are plenty of nations in the world where the government does nothing about HIV. Some where they do almost nothing about public health in general. Which one should be emulate?
Hey BobN
“”What on earth has the gay community done that would make them in the least worthwhile for Republicans to support?”
Uh… being citizens???”
—That’s not enough. A pedophile is a citizen, a wife beater is a citizen, Barney Frank is a citizen. Ironically, the democratic party supports illegal aliens which are not citizens.
Besides, republicans don’t support people, they support principles. Democrats support minorities getting a handout, republicans support the tax breaks that create jobs. Democrats give a speech praising gays, republicans have hired gays at all levels in the administration.
So it’s not a question of what the GOP can do for us, it’s a question of where do our principles lie. Do we want the party of let the government do it for you or the party of do it yourself? Do we want hope and dreams or the pains and pleasures of capitalism? Do we make history by rewarding the young, pretty and popular or do we reward the old, wise and experienced? Do we want to feel guilty for being white or do we say enough?
“So it’s not a question of what the GOP can do for us, it’s a question of where do our principles lie.”
Oh, is that what ND40 meant?
“Do we want to feel guilty for being white”
We’re all white now? Cool.
“I am perplexed by the idea that the government should not involve itself with HIV/AIDS. I seem to remember that even the Bush administration considered it a national security issue. That is, if I’m not mistaken, one of Alex’s “issues”.”
Ugh, I’m talking about domestic AIDS and you know that. Stop it.
“Does the hands-off approach you advocate apply to all other public health issues, as well?”
Most, yes.
“There are plenty of nations in the world where the government does nothing about HIV. Some where they do almost nothing about public health in general. Which one should be emulate?”
None.
Speaking of “conservatives” not just Republicans, a litmus test I use to test their competence: do they “get” the “gay thing”? Affirm equality (not mechanical “acceptance, celebration”) because homosexuals are no objective threat; orientation is neither chosen nor changed; same-sex marriage does not interfere with religion (is a civil right issue); and so forth. But many do not; is it because of that “toxic strand” within s-o-m-e “conservative” thought? “Fear of change, authoritarianism, need for external authority,” that cluster? My hypothesis: the gay rights issue just “rings too many hot flags, rattles too many red buttons” [so to speak...] in the above “toxic strand” cluster, to be manageable for someone possessed of that so-called toxic strand. Such as gender-role-identity, and all the rest. Why else is “conservative” thinking so silent-or-dismissive on the issue of homosexual rights? [Well so I thought...] {;>)
I sympathize with gay Republicans wanting to be accepted by a party where the majority of its base thinks you are an abomination. Giuliani(the great hero) and McCain supporting civil unions? These two frauds ran away from their previous positions just to appease the nuts in the party.
Talk about self-reliance, small government and personal responsiblity, the last 8 years are a perfect example of this, the GOP style. The party is bankrupt of ideas, stuck with the same chant for tax cuts like a messed up mp3 file. Michael Steele, the new chairman holds more of the same bigoted views towards gays. Quite conservative of him.
As long as the GOP is beholden to the extreme elements of America this party will continue to be on the wrong side of history. With Sarah Palin and Bonny Jindal as the future of the GOP, we can be assured that there will be more Democratic landslides to come. But hey gay Repubs…the party would still love your vote!
Tax cuts work, APR! That’s why Nissan, Mercedes, Toyota and Honda have auto plants all over the south. In the southern states you don’t have to deal with pesky labor unions and high corporate taxes. Your democratic party is anti-business. They promise jobs but hate the corporations that create them, they say they love small businesses while telling Joe the Plumber to spread the wealth.
You democrats love raising taxes, I’m sure you’d love to raise capital gains back to 30%, or 50% if the let you. Ironically, you can’t collect any capital gains if nobody’s winning in the stock market. I’m unemployed, so you can’t collect my taxes either!
And if you want to talk about extreme elements, the democratic party is beholden to moveon.org, huffingtonpost.com, dailykoss.com and every big donor from Hollywood, not to mention George Soros, major financier of those radical organizations through his Open Society.
Sara Palin and Bobby Jindal appeal to most Americans just like Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush did at one point. The economy is going down the drain, Walls Street is angry at all the pork in the bailout, the price of oil is going up and your president wants to invest in unproven alternative energy. Your democratic party is out of touch. Obama didn’t get elected for his leftwing radicalism, he got elected because he’s black, young and gives pretty speeches. Eventually, Americans will get tired of hearing him speak and will expect to see results.
Bobby I see you live in conservative la la land. You spew the same crap heard from Rush Limbaugh. You are unemployed now because of the failures of Bush’s ideological polices of the last 8 years so I can see why you are bitter.
Oh the tax cuts certainly worked Bobby…you’re unemployed and the economy is tanking. You need taxation for infrastructure, roads, bridges, education, healthcare. Bush’s tax cuts does not benefit America’s middle class but only the rich.
In case you don’t know it, Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal thinks you are a sin so good luck with your future leaders. Please tell me who are the “most Americans” Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal appeal too, because they certainly were M.I.A on November 4th. If your thinking…”Obama got elected because he is young, black and gives pretty good speeches” is along the same lines of the rest of the GOP then that gives me so much satisfaction, it shows you guys are completely CLUELESS. Obama coming in after 8 years with a dud in the White House is quite beneficial, because any little insignificant results he gets would be seen as progress.
“Oh the tax cuts certainly worked Bobby…you’re unemployed and the economy is tanking. You need taxation for infrastructure, roads, bridges, education, healthcare. Bush’s tax cuts does not benefit America’s middle class but only the rich.”
—No. Gasoline taxes pay for infrastructure, and if government can’t do with the money they get, they should do with less. That’s fiscal responsability!
As for the rich that you hate, they create more jobs than anyone. Make them pay more and they’ll simply move their fortunes to tax shelters. The problem with people like you is you actually think the government can create wealth.
“Obama coming in after 8 years with a dud in the White House is quite beneficial, because any little insignificant results he gets would be seen as progress.”
—Keep dreaming, this isn’t a shitty thirld world nation where giving a pretty speech is enough to keep the peasants happy. This is America, a first class nation, people here expect the very best, and if your magical negro can’t deliver, American will turn against him.
Bush’s tax cuts does not benefit America’s middle class but only the rich.
Not quite. As that shows, the Bush tax cuts actually did better at putting real amounts of money back into the hands of real live working families than the Obama “credits”, which are designed to ensure that real working families subsidize the Obama voting bloc that wants bigger welfare checks and doesn’t want to work.
And Bobby, you have to understand: gays like apr have no concept of wealth creation, because the only place from which they get money is the government. They have been taught by the Obama Party that anyone who has more money than they do doesn’t deserve it and stole it from someone else. To them, every business, every corporation, every successful working person is a thief who is oppressing others.
“And Bobby, you have to understand: gays like apr have no concept of wealth creation, because the only place from which they get money is the government.”
—The irony is that gays like APR don’t seem to mind the success of other gays in the entertainment industry. Where are the socialists calling for Ellen Degeneres to earn only $100,000 a year and to donate the rest of her salary to charity? Where’s the outrage over the millions of dollars Rosie O’donnel has made in her life? Where are the rich haters when it comes to Suze Orman?
In the meantime:
“President Obama wants to spend about $3.6 trillion next year to pull the nation out of recession…”
http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2009-02-26-deficit_N.htm
bobby:
“magical negro”
enough said. you’ve told us all we need to know about you.
i’d say you were a horrible person but that would imply you were actually a person.
“magical negro”
—Yes, it was a liberal writer from the Los Angeles Times who called Obama that. Here, see for yourself.
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-ehrenstein19mar19,0,5335087.story
“enough said. you’ve told us all we need to know about you.”
—Should I show you hundreds of examples of minorities saying nasty things about whites?
Or more interesting, a white liberal radio host referred to Condoleeza Rice as “Aunt Jemima.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6530925/
“i’d say you were a horrible person but that would imply you were actually a person.”
—Of course, you liberals don’t think anyone who disagrees with Saint Obama is a person. Fidel Castro plays the same tricks, he calls his enemies “gusanos” or “worms” in English.
Funny how it’s not ok for me to call Obama a magical negro while it is ok for you to compare Bush to a monkey or for Al Franken to write a book called “Rush Limbaugh is a big fat idiot.” I wonder if borders would stock a book called “Michael Moore is a big fat idiot.”
Go ahead and worship Obama. In the spirit of dissent, I will call him any name I want.
And I’m not alone, check out what Alan Keyes calls him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqkMfToY9Pk
own it you bigot
“own it you bigot”
—Alright. I’m a bigot against big government, censorship, intimidation, progressive radicalism, Chicago-style politics, etc, etc, etc.
Whatever, Bucky, you probably want to get penetrated with Obama’s 12 inches of socialism. “Oooooh Obama, that deficit feels so good.”
I sympathize with gay Republicans wanting to be accepted by a party where the majority of its base thinks you are an abomination.
Well I’m a little offended. I’m not particularly motivated by acceptance, and I’d like some of your pity, too.
How about showering some of your sympathy and pity on those of us gay Republicans who merely want to conquer the Republican party by force? We don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell, either. I became so depressed when Giuliani’s campaign collapsed I voted for Mitt Romney.
By the way, why on earth do you care about such irrelevant things like tax policy? Register as a Democrat if you’re going to go off on boring political stuff like that and stop going to those pointless marches and rallies.
Funny how it’s not ok for me to call Obama a magical negro while it is ok for you to compare Bush to a monkey or for Al Franken to write a book called “Rush Limbaugh is a big fat idiot.” I wonder if borders would stock a book called “Michael Moore is a big fat idiot.”
It is not okay. Why are you tolerating it?
“It is not okay. Why are you tolerating it?”
—Because we’re powerless to stop it. We can’t stop the progressives from comparing Bush to a monkey or calling him retarded, but we can called Barrack Hussein Obama a magical negro, St. Bama, the messiah, Obidiot, that dirty communist, etc.
We conservatives, libertarians and independents need to unite. Obama is destroying our country, we must unite against his policies. We cannot let the president’s personality blind the country to the reality of his evil policies. Read Ann Culter’s latest column, she’s brilliant.
“As Obama prepared to deliver his address to Congress on Tuesday, the Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner, Fox News’ Bret Baier and Charles Krauthammer all gushed that history was being made as the first African-American president appeared before Congress.
Even Gov. Bobby Jindal, whom I suppose I should note was the first Indian-American to give the Republican response to a president’s speech, began with an encomium to the first black president. (Wasn’t Bobby great in “Slumdog Millionaire”?)
Are we going to have to hear about this for the next four years? Obama is becoming the Cal Ripken Jr. of presidents, making history every time he suits up for a game. Recently, Obama also became the first African-American president to order a ham sandwich late at night from the White House kitchen! That’s going to get old pretty quick. ”
http://anncoulter.com/
Alex, you are headed down a long and bumpy road. But it’s also the right one. Remember, you are shattering a lot of people’s preconceptions about what and how you should think… just because you’re gay. No one likes that; liberals especially.
Great piece, keep up the good work. I think more people feel the same way than are willing to admit.
Here’s the latest Obama outrage. Florida has a huge cigar economy based on tobacco grown here and cigars exported from elsewhere, yet now our magical negro has decided to raise taxes by 900% on cigars, this could destroy the jobs of thousands of people. And why is Obama raising tobacco taxes? Because he wants to give kids health insurance! Kids that we didn’t have, we’re talking about the kids of poor breeders that shouldn’t be having kids in the first place! But Obidiot doesn’t see it that way, no, our historical president thinks it’s ok to punishing prosperity with job killing taxes is perfectly fine. What the American people have done is appoint an alcoholic to take care of a bar. And gays who vote republican understand this, they understand that we’re not just gay, we’re Americans, we live in this country, we have jobs, we pay taxes, we need a strong economy BEFORE we need same-sex marriage. It is because we love our country that we HATE the policies of our socialist president.
Obama is the worst president this country has ever had. Wall Street hates him, and pretty soon mainstream will scorn him as well.
The liberals didn’t stand with Bush, I won’t stand with Obama!
hummmm…..
looks like another ‘hereditary’ Republican, trapped in a genetically adverse body…
Reading the comments from some gay Republicans soothes me, because it shows there will be more landslides to come. They harp about more tax cuts for the rich depite the last eight years. The Republican party is regional and led by a ranting obese, self-absorbed, substance abusing bigot. Gay Republicans will NEVER be accepted by their party.
How sad!
They didn’t get it in November, they still don’t get it and never will get it…thank goodness.
Bobby:”The liberals didn’t stand with Bush, I won’t stand with Obama”
Bush was a DISASTER…9/11, Iraq war, Katrina…please don’t stand with Obama!
Does Mr. Gay Republican live in Nebraska? I think not. Maybe he should try it sometime though. It would do him good to experience assimulation in a state dominated by his party. I’m sure it would change his perception regarding the “destructive” gay subculture.
Has Mr. Gay Republican ever felt true hostility? The boyfriend and I went to a straight Kareoki bar because he likes singing in public. We weren’t out to make a “statement.” The gay Kareoki bar was a 30 min drive a way in inclement weather and we wanted an early evening. The boyfriend sang two lines of a song to me while going around working the audiance. The “breeders” took such offence to it we were driven out of the bar.
Come on Mr. Gay Republican, there is no such thing as “assimuation” in a state dominated by people of your political party. In order to feel safe in public in a state dominated by your party one has to always “cover up.” Gay’s can’t kiss in public, holding hands is out, can hug, but it must be brief and you better definately your boyfriend away hard afterword to keep up your “straight” image. Remember it’s not just red neck thugs who might beat you up or murder you. Somebody from work just might see you and tell your boss. Got to keep in mind there are no “anti Gay” descrimination laws on the books in a Republican state. You can be fired for just being a Homo!
Gay Republicans are labled “self-loathing” because they accept such activites as “normal” and “healthy.”
“The Republican party is regional and led by a ranting obese, self-absorbed, substance abusing bigot.”
—Oh, like Barney Frank and Chris Dodd are thin? Wake up! Fat people are everywhere, fat people are 65% of America, when you insult republicans for being fat you’re insulting your own socialist kind!
“Bush was a DISASTER…9/11, Iraq war, Katrina…please don’t stand with Obama!”
—That’s right, I stand AGAINST Obama and I hope all his evil policies fails.
“The boyfriend sang two lines of a song to me while going around working the audiance. The “breeders” took such offence to it we were driven out of the bar.”
—Why would you do that? Why provoke people? Why not just go to an evangelical church wearing a t-shirt that says “I hate God.” Seriously, gays need to behave themselves in breeder territories.
“Gay’s can’t kiss in public, holding hands is out, can hug,”
—Not all gays have someone to kiss, hold hands with and hug. And even if I had a boyfriend, I would not behave myself that way unless me and my boyfriend had guns in our holsters.
Besides, are gays safe in West Hollywood? Are they safe in the Castro? Gay bashings have occurred many times in those areas.
Obama’s on his way out, he’s doing a terrible job, he’s the worst president America has ever had. Pretty soon the average American is gonna get tired of Mr. Articulate. Pretty soon Malia and Jemima or whatever her name is will stop being so adorable.
← Previous Comments