Can Gay Enclaves Survive?

by Paul Varnell on January 17, 2008

First published in the Chicago Free Press on January 16, 2008.

After I wrote recently about research on homosexuality and people's ill-founded concern that it could lead to preventing homosexuality, I remembered that there is also a cluster of concerns about the survival of the gay enclave or community. Let's take a look at those.

One concern is that gays are becoming "assimilated," that they are becoming more like mainstream society and losing whatever unique qualities and valuable differences they have.

I don't know if gays are inherently, intrinsically different from heterosexuals. Early Mattachine Society manifestos back in 1950 referred to gays as "androgynes," or inherently cross-gendered, a view which still survives in the antics of the "radical fairies."

But I doubt that that is or ever was true. Seeing gays as a mix of male and female because of their orientation to the same sex is, after all, a heterosexist view (anyone attracted to a man must be somehow female) and a social construction of the times.

I suspect that what differences gays seem to embody are the result of some gays interjecting that externally encouraged heterosexist view, are a playful reaction to public prejudice, or are the result of any group of peoples spending time together and developing common qualities.

But if those differences are inherent, they will survive no matter where or how gay live, so the worriers have no cause for concern. That anyone is concerned about this suggests that they fear the differences are not really inherent after all.

Gays do seem to be gradually moving to other parts of major cities or to the suburbs. But living in an enclave is no necessary part of being gay. There have always been gays in suburbs, exurbs, and rural areas, as witness the sudden visibility of openly gay couples there in recent census demographics. So that's not new.

What is new is that the people who once were driven to and would have stayed in the protective gay enclave now feel that public acceptance of gays makes them feel comfortable leaving the enclave and moving to other parts of the city or suburbs.

This growth of acceptance, as attested by public opinion surveys, is surely a good thing, not something to be deplored. And those gays who leave the enclave can by their dispersal elsewhere help solidify and increase the acceptance of gays simply by being visible.

In any case, individual gays and gay couples will make these decision about where and how to live based on their own desires, needs and perceptions, and it is impudent for some gays to criticize other gays for their choices as a result of that growing acceptance.

If some gays are leaving the gay enclave, then should people worry--as some do--about the survival of the enclave? In some cities gay bars have closed and others are struggling to survive. I suppose the first thing to ask is: If the enclave no longer serves a significant purpose for gays, then why should we need or want it to survive? Out of sentimental attachment to history?

But the enclave will no doubt survive in some form. Gays are an affinity group. They will always enjoy being with other gay people whether living in a gay residential area or just as visitors. Some gays will still feel a desire to leave less friendly environs for the friendlier ones of the enclave. And unattached gays will always find it useful to go where there is a high density of available partners.

In addition, some of our major cities realize that they have a vested interest in the survival of the gay enclave. Businesses in the enclave are an economic engine for our cities. They are a part of what cities offer out-of-town visitors and metro area residents as part of the effort to reinvent cities as entertainment and recreation centers to replace lost manufacturing income.

Gay bars and clubs, neighborhood inns, bathhouses, gyms and spas, art galleries, gay-friendly shops and bookstores are all part of that mix in addition to gay community festivals such as Chicago's International Mr. Leather contest, Northalsted Market Days, Mardi Gras and Hallowe'en silliness.

Realizing this, Chicago, followed closely by Philadelphia, has already officially recognized the gay entertainment district, erecting rainbow-colored pylons, offering tactical placement and financial support for the gay community center, supporting neighborhood business groups, &c.

But gay businesses can no longer afford to take our gay patronage for granted. They need to spiff up, stay clean, keep their prices reasonable, facilitate parking, control the music volume, and offer special events and entertainment incentives to patronize them. Some have already learned. Others will have to.

{ 65 comments }

Pat January 25, 2008 at 7:05 am

Speaking of Italian food, I always thought Olive Garden was a good place to meet other gays. After all, when you’re there, you’re family.

Maybe good for meeting gay people, but not a good place to go for Italian food, although the salad and breadsticks are very good. Northeastern New Jersey is blessed with tons of excellent Italian restaurants, no need for Olive Gardens here.

Precisely, because the people who go to gay venues, like gay venues. So for many of us to go to a gay venue, it’s like going to an Italian restaurant hoping to find a boyfriend that doesn’t like Italian food.

Bobby, I like Leo’s analagy, but you got a point there. I think it’s a matter of finding the right gay venue. For example, I would go to gay bars, but they usually suck on Friday and Saturday nights after 10 or so, because the music sucks, and they put footage of pride parades on TV, and the crowd is younger. I preferred going either earlier on weekends or go another night where it’s less crowded, you can actually have a conversation with someone and hear what they say, and you can even ask to have a tennis match or Yankee game on the TV.

Bobby January 25, 2008 at 7:56 am

Hey Pat, I know what you’re saying. I’ve gone to different gay bars at different times. Sometimes they’re too crowded, sometimes there’s hardly anyone there, sometimes there’s a few people. Still, when your only purpose is to meet guys, you’re only gonna enjoy them if you meet a guy. If on the other hand, you enjoy the music, the ambiance, the drinks, playing darts, and all that goes with bar culture, then it doesn’t matter if you meet a guy or not. I have a friend who stay at the bar for 3 hours, and maybe then someone hits on him. The beauty of the online world is that I can get men to hit on my in 10 minutes, maybe less. Or I can just place my ad, close down the computer, watch TV, and check it 3 hours later for responses. That’s why the gay enclave is dissapearing, in our modern gay life, you can find Mr. Right without even leaving the house.

ColoradoPatriot January 25, 2008 at 9:23 am

bobby: “That’s why the gay enclave is dissapearing, in our modern gay life, you can find Mr. Right without even leaving the house.”

Pie in the sky thinking, as usual. If you don’t like gay bars, try a sports bar…or a coffee bar…or a oxygen bar…but DON’T rely on the internet if you are looking for a real relationship (random skanky hook-ups? Sure).

Leo January 25, 2008 at 3:48 pm

—Precisely, because the people who go to gay venues, like gay venues. So for many of us to go to a gay venue, it’s like going to an Italian restaurant hoping to find a boyfriend that doesn’t like Italian food.

So you what a relationship with a man who doesn’t like other men?

leo January 25, 2008 at 4:27 pm

“I bet that if you go to church or bridge club or Ducks Unlimited or wherever long enough, you will see any number of men over 30 who don’t have wedding rings. A few conversations will reveal whether there’s a mutual attraction, and what’s even better, you already have an interest in common which doesn’t involve deciding whether you like Clinton better than Stacy.”

So has this strategy worked well for you so far?

Charles Wilson January 25, 2008 at 7:48 pm

But here’s one you didn’t mention and I haven’t tried, a gay cruise. There’s the one of a small group of gay men, like 200, in a boat of mostly straight folks. And the all gay cruises like Atlantis and RSVP. There’s also small group vacation for gay men, Aspen Gay Ski week, and other stuff of that nature. So that I can’t criticize, yet.

Don’t worry, you will.

Bobby January 25, 2008 at 8:15 pm

“So you what a relationship with a man who doesn’t like other men?”

—No, I want a relationship with a man like me, a man who doesn’t enjoy gay bars but prefers going to the movies, watching TV, and taking weird vacations in places like death valley, California. Guys who are into gay bars enjoy starring at strippers, cruising other men, drinking alcohol and listening to techno. That’s not my thing. It’s funny your name is Leo, I knew a Leo who was very popular, all the boys were into him. You see, he can enjoy the gay bars and the stereotypical gay lifestyle, it’s fun when you are sexy and everyone kisses your ass, and pays your compliments and hits on you. But when you’re not good enough, then you’re better off going online. The amazing thing is, I can get online what Mr. Pretty used to get offline.

Charles Wilson January 26, 2008 at 11:57 pm

No, I want a relationship with a man like me, a man who doesn’t enjoy gay bars but prefers going to the movies, watching TV, and taking weird vacations in places like death valley, California.

Sorry Bobby, but I’m taken. Incidentally, amid all this talk about what you want, you haven’t said a word about what you have to offer. Hmm. I wonder why that is.

Bobby January 27, 2008 at 10:34 am

“Incidentally, amid all this talk about what you want, you haven’t said a word about what you have to offer. Hmm. I wonder why that is.”

—Because it’s not important. It’s a subjective matter, and I don’t think it’s relevant to the forum. I also don’t think indegayforum.com is a good place to meet guys. “What I want” is relevant to why me and others are avoiding the gay getto. “What I offer” is too personal to discuss, unless you want to know my height, age, weight, and race. The only statistics that really matter.

bryan January 28, 2008 at 5:31 pm

So it appears that being gay is okay with this Ash guy as long as no mentions it?! Discuss everything but Gay. Accept no gay associations, witness no parades. Be gay but quiet, secret almost. But it’s okay, it’s okay to be gay, just don’t mention it…

Bobby January 28, 2008 at 5:50 pm

Ash guy has a point, although in the past there were gay organizations I did enjoy. But for the most part, being gay is about having sex or dating or falling in love with a person of the same sex. Everything else is simply optional. Your comments reminds me of those blacks that get accused of acting white just because they don’t listen to hip hop and talk ebonics. Among gays we have the same crap.

Rob January 28, 2008 at 7:41 pm

After contemplating this topic for a few minutes more, I realized how irritating that while in mainstream society, I can’t simply ask any guy I find interesting out on a date since 94% of the time, that guy turns out to be straight. Also, not everyone wants to start looking for gay dates via the internet. It seems we’re highly dependent on it for serious mating. Reality is that finding a good mate is more troublesome for gays and lesbians, and because of this fact, there definitely is a need for a gay culture, space, and social gatherings. So those places will never really dissapear, even if everyone was 100% accepting in society. These ghettos simply evolving and spreading, since it’s safer in a more accepting maintream society.

Charles Wilson February 4, 2008 at 11:03 am

“What I want” is relevant to why me and others are avoiding the gay getto. “What I offer” is too personal to discuss, unless you want to know my height, age, weight, and race. The only statistics that really matter.

You truly spoke volumes about yourself there. No wonder you’re single.

infovoyeur February 5, 2008 at 9:47 pm

First the minority pool is small, 5-10%. Second the ID labels are iffy–”gaydar” needed? These two hurdles for gays are in addition to the usual difficulties for people finding partners. [...but just what IS my Point here, if I had one, and I think I did when I entered...] I met my partner, for a perfect (yes nothing is but still…) relationship Until Death etc., via the mailing list of an area Gay/Bi Mens’ Social Club in Madison WI. If not for that….. Cheers…

David February 7, 2008 at 9:40 am

The disappearnce of gay enclaves would be a good thing. It would mean gays have overcome being segregated by society. Isn’t that the ultimate goal, after all? It seems the more accepting society becomes, the more the gay czars complain about it.

I live in Chicago, and already you see most the bars mixed. Gays go to straight bars, and vice versa–there really is no need to even label the bars gay and straight anymore. Ironically, the people doing most the complaining are not the straights, but the gays.

For me, true acceptance comes when there is no need for gays bars, when two men can walk into any bar or restaruant and hold hands without fear of persecution or ridicule. You can already see that in Chicago.

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